Check your calendar. If you’re a Real Housewives of Beverly Hills fanatic, March 25 is probably labeled “Early Christmas,” as Bravo is delivering a full night of RHOBH drama — including the first part of the season’s Adrienne Maloof-less reunion! But first comes the season finale, which picks up right where last week’s episode left off, following Brandi Glanville and Yolanda Foster‘s nasty fight with Faye Resnick.

And like sharks smelling blood, each housewife approaches Brandi one-by-one to find out what went down with the morally corrupt Faye.

“I was trying to have a conversation with Marisa, and then Faye comes and puts her big fat f*****g d**k on the table,” Brani recalls, reviving my favorite Real Housewives metaphor of all time. (Unless Faye really does have a penis, which honestly wouldn’t be that surprising.)

Kim & Kyle Love A Good Mystery

Speaking of “surprises,” detectives Kim and Kyle Richards team up to figure out what’s really going on at Lisa Vanderpump‘s housewarming party. “Why is there a priest?” they ask. “Look at the heart! Is it Valentine’s Day? Somebody’s getting married.”

I swear, nothing gets by those two.

Yolanda’s Case Of The Ex

Meanwhile, Yolanda deserves a Nobel Peace Prize for the way she acts around husband David Foster and his ex-wife Linda. When Lisa asks if the former couple is “good together,” Yolanda replies, “Yeah. … I made them be good together.”

Growing lemons, mending fences, fighting Faye… Is there anything Yolanda can’t do?

HollywoodLifers, are you psyched for tonight’s season finale? Watch a clip below, then drop a comment: How do you want it to end?

— Andy Swift

Follow @AndySwift

More Real Housewives of Beverly Hills:

1. Adrienne Maloof: Andy Cohen’s Diss Was Unprofessional
2. Andy Cohen Slams Adrienne Maloof For Blowing Off ‘RHOBH’ Reunion
3. ‘RHOBH’ Recap: Adrienne Maloof & Paul Nassif Break Up

Before we get back to sunny Beverly Hills, we have to labor through ONE MORE Paris segment. Everyone’s on a party boat, basking in the sun in winter coats. And even though Kim Richards is still totally acting crazy, Lisa Vanderpump determines that she actually seems better. Um, if you say so?

The Real Housewives: One More Night In Paris

You know what’s awkward? When one woman buys another woman a pair of heels in front of a bunch of other drooling, jealous women. So needless to say the look on everyone’s faces when Yolanda Foster buys Brandi Glanville some wild and crazy heels are pretty priceless.

Okay, enough! Let’s go home.

Back To Beverly Hills

Coming off of her father-in-law’s passing, Marisa Zanuck tells Kyle Richards that her mother-in-law wants to sell her nearly 20,000 square foot mansion. Marisa thinks it’ll be a good idea to list the house with Kyle’s hubby Mauricio, which doesn’t sound like a scenario that could get awkward at all. I’m actually shocked that the two talk pricing without a bit of a fight — but let’s stay tuned on this plot point, it feels ominous.

Hey, there’s Taylor Armstrong! Taylor grabs some drinks with her friend Dana, who’s really a whole lot of tanned skin, cigarettes, and laughing. And drinking. And “f**king.” Dana manages to talk a whole lotta crap about the “group,” and while most of it is nonsense, what she says about Taylor needing to watch her back is pretty spot on. Sometimes you need to dig through a dumpster to find a treasure — you’ll see what I mean later.

Kyle Richards Opens A Store, Everyone Is Forced To See Each Other

I’m not all that excited about Kyle’s store opening, are you? I feel about as excited as Mauricio sounds. “I am actually happy for my friends when good things happen to them,” Brandi unconvincingly says.

But at least the store opening is a reason for EVERYONE to be in the same room at the same time. Which pays off when Taylor steps up to Yolanda. Be careful, Taylor — Yolanda is a shark. Taylor is bothered by the fact that YoYo is married to Taylor’s best friend’s ex-husband. But Taylor, don’t you know that David’s “good to all of his ex-wives?” Yolanda proves that talking about her husband is a not a conversation, it’s more like a one-sided rant.  Yolanda hardly lets Taylor get a word in, totally putting Taylor in her place. She’s left just being like, “Um, okay… let’s hug?”

Adrienne Maloof also shows up but somehow, a fight doesn’t break out between her and Brandi. This is a miracle.

Kyle Richards: Leave Your Sister Kim Alone!

Kyle finds a way to bring up Kim’s addiction issues towards the tail end of the party, because it’s not an episode of ‘RHOBH’ if Kyle doesn’t make herself cry. The two have an emotional heart to heart, where Kim refreshingly says that she’s sober, and she likes it. Hear that, Kyle? Stop pressuring this girl into sobriety. She’s taking it by her own pace and you making a dramatic scene every ten minutes can’t be helpful. It was a fun night, and you sort of ruined it. And worse, you made poor Kim cry on her beautiful new nose!

Welp, another episode down. It looks like we have a Vanderpump party to look forward to and Brandi won’t stay this even-keeled for much longer. Will next week break the streak? Come back to find out!

– Andrew Gruttadaro

More ‘RHOBH’ News:

1. Adrienne Maloof Fired From ‘RHOBH’? — Report
2. Adrienne Maloof Leaving ‘Real Housewives’ — Confirmed
3. ‘RHOBH’ Recap — Lisa Vanderpump & Kyle Richards Square Off In Paris