“I remember one time I was backstage, and I needed my inhaler,” Britney Spears said towards the end of the 22-minute voice memo she posted to her YouTube channel on Sunday (Aug. 28). Britney, 40, shared that while under the conservatorship run by her father, Jamie Spears, she “opened up to my assistant” about a forbidden romance. “I said to her, ‘you know what I’m doing.’ I was talking to a guy, and he wanted to just leave the country with me. We had it all set up to just leave. And it was a secret relationship. And I said, ‘my biggest fear was what would my Dad do? If I did do something wrong? What if I left the country? What and what if they found me, and what would they do?'”
And I said, ‘I feel like they would lock me up or something or really hurt me,'” continued Britney. “And [the assistant] looked at me, and she said, ‘Are you kidding me? Britney, your Dad would never do that to you.’ And I didn’t even do anything wrong, and he still did it.” Britney said she was “honestly more angry at my mom because I heard when reporters would call her at the time and ask questions of what was going on. She would go innocently, innocently hide in the house, and she wouldn’t speak up. It was always like I didn’t know what to say.
“I just don’t want to say the wrong thing,” added Britney. “We’re praying for her. I feel like she could have gotten me a lawyer in literally two seconds; my friend helped me get one in the end.” Britney said she shared this voice memo – which has been moved to private on YouTube, and the tweet promoting it has since been deleted – because she wanted to. “I have offers to do interviews with Oprah and so many people lots of lots of money, but it’s insane. I don’t want any of it.”
“I’m sharing this because I want people to know I’m only human,” she added. “I do feel victimized after these experiences. And how can I mend this if I don’t talk about it?” From there, Britney said she had “an amazing song right now” – her song “Hold Me Closer,” with Elton John (whom she called “one of the most brilliant men of our time”). However, Britney said that “if you’re a weird introvert oddball like me, who feels alone a lot of the time and you needed to hear a story like this today, so you don’t feel alone — know this my life has been far from easy and you’re not alone.”
Britney also detailed what it was like learning that she was put under the conservatorship. “It was pure abuse. And, and I haven’t even really shared even half of it,” she said. “All I remember is I had to do what I was told. I was told I was fat every day. I had to go to the gym… [I] remember feeling so demoralized. They made me feel like nothing. And I went along with it because I was scared.”
Britney’s 13-year conservatorship ended in November 2021. Since then, she’s married her longtime boyfriend Sam Asghari and enjoyed every day of her newfound freedom. She has also clashed with her exes, Jason Alexander and Kevin Federline.
Brittney’s mother, Lynne Spears, responded to the allegations of betrayal and “abuse” made in the voice memo. “I have tried my best to help you out of hardships,” Lynne, 67, wrote online. “I have never and will never turn my back on you!”