For a time prior to Demi Lovato s 2018 near fatal overdose, her social media posts always showed her constantly working out. She revealed on Ashley Graham‘s latest Pretty Big Deal podcast that she thought she was recovering from an eating disorder when instead she was overworking her body in the gym. “I’m tired of running myself into the ground with workouts and extreme dieting. I thought the past few years was recovery from an eating disorder, when it actually was just completely falling into it. And I just realized maybe my symptoms weren’t as obvious as before, but it was definitely and eating issue,” she revealed in the Feb. 18 podcast.
“I think when you have certain people around you that are telling you certain things, that you should look a certain way, it makes it harder,” she said. “I was in that situation, and I was just running myself into the ground. I honestly think that’s kind of what led to everything happening over the past year. It was just me thinking I found recovery when I didn’t, and then living this kind of lie and trying to tell the world I was happy with myself when I really wasn’t,” she continued.
“And when I realized I wasn’t happy doing that stuff, I made a choice going into this next album. Alright when I present this I’m not going to worry about what I look like. I’m not going to worry about trying to look a certain way or fit a certain mold or whatever. That’s just not who I am. Someone needs to stand up for people who don’t naturally look that way,” the 27-year-old singer explained. She took time away from music and performing following her July 24, 2018 near-fatal overdose and subsequent trip to rehab. She made her triumphant comeback at the 2020 Grammys, finally returning the stage, then went on to sing the national anthem at the 54th Super Bowl on Feb. 2.
“I had to work my ass off every day in the gym six days a week to maintain that figure and its like…that lead me only one way and I don’t want to go down that path again. I’m not willing to destroy my mental health to look a certain way anymore,” Demi explained.
“Bravo to you for figuring that out because a lot of people when they are going through some type of recovery they just find the next thing to dive into,” Ashley told Demi. “When you don’t have people who know the signs around you, I think what I really needed was someone to come in and say ‘hey, I think you want to take a look at how much you’re working out, or maybe three times a day is excessive for working out. There were times I lived at the gym and I would take business meetings at the gym on my breaks from my workout,” Demi added, saying, “That’s not happiness to me. That’s not freedom. That’s not everything I’d worked for and preached to people, so why live that life if it’s a lie. So I just decided to not live that lie anymore.”