The first true test for the celebrity recruits in the premiere episode of Special Forces: World’s Toughest Test is a backward dive from a helicopter into the ocean below. Jamie Lynn Spears admits right away that this challenge won’t be easy for her.
The water reminds her of one of the worst moments of her life. She belly flops when she attempts to dive backward. The Zoey 101 alum throws up in front of a Directing Staff member after climbing up the ladder. “This reminds me of rescuing my daughter,” Jamie Lynn says through tears.
Jamie Lynn’s oldest daughter, Maddie, now 14, nearly died after an ATV accident in 2017. Maddie survived and made a full recovery, but she was hospitalized for several days.
After watching Jamie Lynn during the challenge, the DS decides they want to dig deeper into her psychological state. They pull her aside and ask about why she had a meltdown over the backward dive.
She explains how she tried desperately to save Maddie in the pond after her ATV flipped. “She wasn’t breathing and she was blue. It was bad,” Jamie Lynn says.
The Zoey 101 star admits that she’s also struggled with not feeling worthy in her life. “It just feels like every time I work really hard to get something on my own. It’s like it’s not really worth it,” she says. “I mean, growing up, my sister [Britney Spears] became famous, worldwide famous when I was very young… I’m proud of her, love her to death. And I don’t know I feel like sometimes I’ve never been able to really have anything for myself.”
Jamie Lynn knows that it’s possible to be “extremely proud of my sister but also have my own identity and be expected to be seen as my own person. I struggle with self-esteem all the time. And as a parent, you really want to fake it because you don’t want to ever see your children feel the feelings you feel. The hardest thing is being away from my kids, but I’m here to do something to make them proud.”
By the end of the first episode, four recruits have left Special Forces: Kate Gosselin, Dr. Drew, Montell Jordan, and Tyler Florence. Jamie Lynn is showing grit and determination with the 11 remaining recruits. Special Forces airs Wednesdays on FOX.