Watch
Hollywood Life

Tana Mongeau Admits To Suicidal Thoughts & Reveals She Almost Killed Herself With Xanax

Jake Paul and Tana Mongeau’s giant wedding extravaganza at the infamous Graffiti Mansion in Las Vegas. The YouTuber’s met in late April, then right after the two got engaged at Mongeau's 21st birthday party making it announced at the video convention VidCon. Paul gifted her with a $124,000 Mercedes G Wagon and the ring the diamond-encrusted ring the couple got engaged with is fake and it reportedly retails for $125. Their ceremony was held at the Graffiti Mansion, that often gets spray painted to promote things like the ever popular brand “Supreme”. The event, as well as the after party held at a separate location called the “Sugar Factory”, was filmed by MTV and aired for YouTube. 28 Jul 2019 Pictured: Jake Paul Tana Mongeau. Photo credit: APEX / MEGA TheMegaAgency.com +1 888 505 6342 (Mega Agency TagID: MEGA474814_001.jpg) [Photo via Mega Agency]
Jake Paul and Tana Mongeau’s giant wedding extravaganza at the infamous Graffiti Mansion in Las Vegas. The YouTuber’s met in late April, then right after the two got engaged at Mongeau's 21st birthday party making it announced at the video convention VidCon. Paul gifted her with a $124,000 Mercedes G Wagon and the ring the diamond-encrusted ring the couple got engaged with is fake and it reportedly retails for $125. Their ceremony was held at the Graffiti Mansion, that often gets spray painted to promote things like the ever popular brand “Supreme”. The event, as well as the after party held at a separate location called the “Sugar Factory”, was filmed by MTV and aired for YouTube. 28 Jul 2019 Pictured: Jake Paul Tana Mongeau. Photo credit: APEX / MEGA TheMegaAgency.com +1 888 505 6342 (Mega Agency TagID: MEGA474814_009.jpg) [Photo via Mega Agency]
Jake Paul and Tana Mongeau’s giant wedding extravaganza at the infamous Graffiti Mansion in Las Vegas. The YouTuber’s met in late April, then right after the two got engaged at Mongeau's 21st birthday party making it announced at the video convention VidCon. Paul gifted her with a $124,000 Mercedes G Wagon and the ring the diamond-encrusted ring the couple got engaged with is fake and it reportedly retails for $125. Their ceremony was held at the Graffiti Mansion, that often gets spray painted to promote things like the ever popular brand “Supreme”. The event, as well as the after party held at a separate location called the “Sugar Factory”, was filmed by MTV and aired for YouTube. 28 Jul 2019 Pictured: Jake Paul Tana Mongeau. Photo credit: APEX / MEGA TheMegaAgency.com +1 888 505 6342 (Mega Agency TagID: MEGA474814_007.jpg) [Photo via Mega Agency]
Jake Paul and Tana Mongeau’s giant wedding extravaganza at the infamous Graffiti Mansion in Las Vegas. The YouTuber’s met in late April, then right after the two got engaged at Mongeau's 21st birthday party making it announced at the video convention VidCon. Paul gifted her with a $124,000 Mercedes G Wagon and the ring the diamond-encrusted ring the couple got engaged with is fake and it reportedly retails for $125. Their ceremony was held at the Graffiti Mansion, that often gets spray painted to promote things like the ever popular brand “Supreme”. The event, as well as the after party held at a separate location called the “Sugar Factory”, was filmed by MTV and aired for YouTube. 28 Jul 2019 Pictured: Jake Paul Tana Mongeau. Photo credit: APEX / MEGA TheMegaAgency.com +1 888 505 6342 (Mega Agency TagID: MEGA474814_008.jpg) [Photo via Mega Agency] View Gallery View Gallery 17 Photos.
Deputy Editor of New York City

In a lengthy new YouTube video, Tana Mongeau opened up about struggling with depression, and she admitted to ‘not caring’ about living at the end of 2019.

Tana Mongeau is continuing to be her “most honest self” in a new YouTube video, which she posted on March 31. The video, which is titled, “Letting You In On The Truth About MTV, Depression + A Life Update,” delves into Tana’s struggle with mental health. She explained that 2019 was the “worst” year of her life in terms of mental health, even though things were going so well on the outside (she married Jake Paul and her YouTube presence skyrocketed more than ever before).

The Internet star explained that she was filming the video to clear up the way she was portrayed on her MTV reality show, MTV No Filter: Tana Mongeau. In the video, Tana opened up about taking pills, and admitted that she took scary amounts of Xanax while filming the show. “I was definitely taking enough to where, I wasn’t trying to kill myself, but I definitely didn’t care if I died,” she admitted. She explained that she “crumbled” at the end of 2019, which was around the time she began having issues in her relationship with Jake.

“I think by the end of 2019, I had beaten myself up in every way possible, where I wasn’t even a person,” she said. “I wanted to die. I wanted to kill myself. I did not want to live.”  She added, “I knew that if I didn’t change something, I was going to die. Whether it was from a drug overdose, complete exhaustion, or letting my suicidal thoughts get the best of me. Or, if I didn’t take care of my health to the point of no return.”

Watch Tana’s full emotional confession in the video above. She also discusses her difficult upbringing, keeping her struggles bottled inside for so long, and much more.