It was the cliffhanger that left everyone wondering what happened following last week’s episode of The Challenge XXX — Ammo lost to Jordan in the elimination round after quite the fight. However, following his lose, he actually passed out and the ambulance came to help. Ammo, 24, took to social media following the episode and revealed his story, tweeting, “I tell my full story about #TheChallenge elimination, my collapse, PTSD, and the rape that caused it.”
He shared his story on YouCaring, writing, “Interrelationship rape and assault are some of the most underreported crimes in America. I didn’t even realize I had been raped until I sat in a Planned Parenthood, looked into the eyes of a Social Worker, and she asked me: ‘Ammo, were you raped by your partner?’ At the time, I thought that if you were in a relationship, you couldn’t be raped. Given my intensely conservative upbringing as a Mormon I believed that rape was only something that happened between strangers on episodes of Law and Order: SVU. I thought: ‘This could never happen to me.’ And then, it happened.”
Ammo, who is the first non-binary person to play in The Challenge, revealed that he was raped in his own bed in November 2016, by the person he was dating — something he didn’t think was possible. “I remember saying ‘no’ and ‘I don’t want to’ but my partner insisted that he was going to ‘make me take it’ and teach me ‘how to be a man,'” Ammo wrote. “It was painful. It was mortifying. And it was non-consensual. And yet: I still didn’t know that it was rape.”
Tuesday's episode of #TheChallengeXXX has it all 😱 Tune into @MTV this Tuesday at 10/9c to watch! 👀 https://t.co/QhKuSovCYg pic.twitter.com/mIBRfg4X1u
— challengemtv (@ChallengeMTV) August 27, 2017
The elimination round — which included he and Jordan being blindfolded and pinning each other down in a ring to pull off Velcro patches — was a trigger for him.
“On this season on MTV’s The Challenge, fans got to see every step of my journey towards recovery. I did The Challenge to prove to myself that I was strong– that I could do anything. I wanted to show myself, my ex partner, and the world that I was the master of my mind and my body and that NO ONE could take my spirit away from me,” he wrote. “As many of you saw in the most recent episode, I have a lot of healing still left to do. Unfortunately during the sand wrestling match I had a very intense episode of PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder). While underneath my opponent, my mind triggered memories of my assault and I was left in a state of panic leaving me totally paralyzed.”
He left the show the following day and began recovering in New York, getting both medical and psychological help, and doing what’s helping him the most — making music. “Because of this I am asking my friends, fans, and family to donate so that I can both continue to make my music and get the continued help and support I need,” he wrote. “Lastly– if you or someone you know is being abused by a partner, PLEASE do not make the mistake I did and stay silent. NO ONE has the right to hurt you or make you do things that you don’t want to do. Trust me when I say: RECOVERY IS POSSIBLE. Sometimes all it takes is reaching out and simply saying: ‘I need help.'”
To help Ammo spread the word, click here. Then tune into see his journey on The Challenge, airing tonight at 10PM ET on MTV.