Jada Pinkett Smith revealed that she struggled with suicidal thoughts when she turned 40 in a new interview with People, published on Wednesday, October 11. The A Different World alum, 52, opened up about how despite having what seemed like a picture-perfect life, she was battling intense emotions and suicidal thoughts. “While I was really living the dream, I hit a huge wall — a massive amount of depression. I think that I looked at having outside sources to supplement for the voids that I was feeling inside,” she told the outlet.
Jada explained that as she turned 40, her depression was becoming unbearable. “When I turned 40, I was in so much pain. I couldn’t figure a way out besides death. So I made a plan,” she said. She explained that she began to hear “voices,” telling her things like, “Just kill yourself. You’re not worth anything, you ain’t s**t.”
As her suicidal thoughts got worse, Jada spoke about how she considered how she “could have an accident,” to spare her children from knowing what she was going through. “I didn’t want my kids to think that their mother had committed suicide,” she said.
Jada revealed that she found solace with the help of psychedelic drugs on the recommendation of one of her son Jaden’s friends. “Ayahuasca helped me, it gave me a new intimate relationship with myself that I had never had before,” she explained. “The suicidal thoughts completely went away.”
The interview was to promote Jada’s upcoming memoir Worthy. In the first excerpt of the book released by People, Jada similarly opened up about her battles with depression. “For two decades, I had been putting on a good face, going with the flow, telling everyone I was okay. Yet underneath, bouts of depression and overwhelming hopelessness had smoldered until they turned into raging hellfire in my broken heart,” she wrote. “Every morning, waking up was like walking the plank of doom.”
If you or someone you know is in emotional distress or considering suicide, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).