Amber Borzotra opened up about some personal news during The Challenge: Ride or Dies reunion. The episode ended with Amber revealing that she was diagnosed as autistic. She said that she had not told anybody aside from her family and boyfriend, Chauncey Palmer, who was also her partner on Ride or Dies, before making this announcement.
“I struggle in social settings, and this pressure has been so much on me,” Amber explained. “I’ve taken meds for depression and anxiety in this game, and I’ve told people I haven’t because it was embarrassing. It was embarrassing for people to make it seem like it wasn’t working. So, it was something deeper. After season 38 I really needed help. It’s been so hard. I had to figure out why I am this person and why my whole life I’ve felt the way I felt and why I am this way. I’m trying to find my own community of people who understand that.”
Amber also explained more about what she’s learned about herself since getting her diagnosis. “Basically, I camouflage myself to fit in,” she said. “So if I see someone hugging someone or doing something, I mirror that. I don’t know if you guys know, but I rub my hands a lot or I bite my lip or I twirl my hair.”
Amber admitted that it was “difficult” to find this out later in life. “I wish I found out a lot sooner because I struggled with my identity for 34 years,” she shared. “But I love me and it’s also given me the chance to embrace this amazing person I am.” Amber got emotional and started breaking down in tears, which prompted her castmates to lend their support.
“Your diagnosis does not define you,” Nany Gonzalez assured her. “We loved you before this and we’ll continue to love you after.” Johnny “Bananas” Devenanzio added, “When we’re on the show and we’re filming and in that pressure cooker, it really is sometimes difficult for people to have compassion and be supportive because we’re all fighting for the same thing, but I don’t want you to think that you’re on this stage alone or in this world alone. We really do care about you and support you, even though it might not come across like that sometimes.”
Earlier in the reunion, Amber had more news to share, as well: She and Chauncey are expecting their first child together! She actually made the announcement on Instagram on Jan. 22 before the reunion episode aired, as well. The exciting pregnancy news comes after more than one year of dating for the pair.