Rachel Uchitel is still looking for her “forever love story,” but that doesn’t mean she’s hankering for a “white picket fence” with a “baby and a husband.” The 46-year-old, who recently became the first ever spokesperson for the online dating website Seeking Arrangement, is revealing what she wants in a man.
“I’m too old for a baby now and I don’t want another one,” the mom-of-one tells HollywoodLife. “But I definitely want a guy that has kids and I want to have a commitment and a long-term relationship. I want a family for my daughter, for sure and I would like it to happen soon.”
Rachel – who recently broke her silence about her affair with Tiger Woods in the HBO documentary, Tiger – is an eight-year veteran when it comes to online dating. Now the two-time divorcee is putting that experience to use by partnering with Seeking Arrangement.
Also known as just Seeking, the site gained notoriety for connecting “sugar daddies” with “sugar babies,” but it’s trying to rehab its image. For Rachel, part of that is emphasizing that the key to finding love online is knowing what you want (and asking for it) as well as knowing your “worth.”
“There’s a difference between a man that buys you and a man who is treating you well because you deserve to be treated well,” she says. Insisting that there is nothing wrong with a woman only dating men who will treat her to nice things, she adds: “You’re gonna want to date somebody who makes you feel good about yourself and who [knows] you’re worth dating and who you feel empowered by.”
While she acknowledges that the terms sugar daddies and sugar babies have a “stigma” attached to them, Rachel believes that the beauty of Seeking is that it allows people to be transparent about their dating expectations.
“It offers optionality for people to ask for what they want in a relationship, because they’re asking for what they want upfront,” she says. “Nobody wants to find out four or five dates in that the person that they are going out with is something that they didn’t sign up for.”
Bearing that in mind, Rachel has three dating tips for men and women who are using apps and websites to find love. Here are her no-nonsense rules:
Nix The ‘Weird’ Selfies
“My first tip would be to update your profile and your photos…” Rachel says. “I think that’s really important because a lot of people take these really ridiculous photos in their bathrooms or take these funny selfies, or some ridiculous photo of them with a zoo animal.”
Some of her pet peeves include women pouting and posing in their workout gear. “You should definitely have selfies,” Rachel says. “But I can’t stand those pictures where people are in the bathroom and you see a urinal behind them. Or these girls have ridiculous gym photos and their stomachs are out or their butts are out or they’re making these duck faces. Or it’s the best made-up photo of them you’ve ever seen.
“Girls, don’t do that, because then the guy sees you on the date and that’s not what he signed up for. He signed up for the girl in the photo that looked 10 years younger and 20 pounds lighter.”
Instead, Rachel recommends posting a current, realistic photo of yourself. “You almost want to have a worse photo of you so that, when you show up, you look better than your photo,” she says.
Rethink Your Logline
Rachel also recommends putting some thought into your profile bio. “Spend at least five minutes thinking of [your] logline or that elevator pitch,” she says about making the first impression.
“If you had 30 seconds in an elevator, what are you going to say to someone? Something catchy? Something funny or what [do] you want somebody to know about you? Because it’s like the 30 seconds that someone is going to know that most interesting thing about you and you could just blurt it out, whatever it is, but that’s what’s going to make somebody stop.”
As for what you should say, Rachel offers some guidance on that front too. “I would, in that little logline, say something super interesting about you. I would say something nobody knows about you and then something that you want out of that other person that will make somebody maybe stop, look and say, ‘Oh, I have that.’”
Rachel also believes that owning your wants is key when dating online. “Just be confident in what it is that you want and not change for somebody else,” she says. “I think a lot of people online will look at somebody’s picture and profile and say, ‘I want that person, so I want to be that.’ And that will never make it work.
“So, be confident in who you are because there is always a person out there that will fit in your skin. You should never change for someone else. Somebody will always love you for your body type, for your skin type, for who you are as a person.
“And you should never change to fit somebody else. I think that’s always really important to remember.”