Paulina Porizkova opened up about her roller coaster of emotions following the death of her husband Ric Ocasek & being cut from his will.
Paulina Porizkova, 55, was separated but living with her husband of 30 years, Ric Ocasek, when she found him dead in their living room in September 2019. In the years that followed, Paulina learned that she had been shockingly cut out from The Cars frontman’s will, leaving her ‘without money for groceries’ and heartbroken. “I felt so betrayed. I felt like he lied. His last public words to me were a lie, and I felt that was really, really unfair,” the model explained on the HollywoodLife Podcast. “I was in this happy LaLa Land of thinking, ‘Oh, just because we’re no longer going to be married doesn’t mean that we’re not family forever… that we’re not going to be best friends.’ This man knows me better than any other human being in the world. Obviously, he didn’t feel the same way, and that was a blow.”
Paulina explained that Ric’s “last public words” was the publicizing of his will that seemingly “disinherited” her. “It was really kind of hard while I was also really missing him. Rage and sadness are not super compatible,” she admitted. “I was sort of waffling between this tenderness and sadness for having lost him. And then this rage of what he thought was a good idea.” Paulina made clear that she and Ric were heading for a divorce and she “never would have expected to just take over everything,” but “only thought that I should be allowed to get what one would get in a divorce — half of everything that we had made together.”
A year and a half after Ric’s passing, Paulina is “in a better place” and living in an apartment that is right next to her first NYC place when she came to the city as a young model from Czechoslovakia. She revealed that turning to Instagram to write about her grief helped her heal and find forgiveness. “I felt like doing it publicly was a way of healing for me, because I got slapped with this, and also felt like I had to defend myself a little,” she said. “As I started sharing my feelings with others, I read all the replies and found that there’s a lot of women struggling with feeling invisible, a lot of women struggling with loss and grief, and all the same feelings.”
Paulina added, “It felt so good to not feel alone. They would tell me that they felt good to not feel alone. It became a community, like a healing space, with a couple of trolls poking up once in a while to provide a little spice.”