Alyssa Limperis: No Bad Days is a comedy special unlike any other. Through laughs and brutal honesty, Alyssa Limperis explores the pain of losing her father and the “changing” faces of grief. HollywoodLife spoke EXCLUSIVELY with Alyssa about chronically her “messy” journey with grief through comedy.
The comedian admitted that “grief is often looked at as in a box or in like a checklist of things you have to do to accomplish and get over or like a very linear: bad, a little bit better, good, done. And it’s like, it’s just messy. It’s not what it is at all. Maybe it’s like I was laughing the night of the funeral and then weeping six years later just because I smelled something my dad used to wear. I found both in life and with comedy in this special, it’s really important to me that I highlighted how there can be a dark moment in the special followed by a really funny moment or a joke, followed by a moment where I’m alone, and then a moment where I’m engaging with the audience, and then I’m moving, I’m static. I think to me, I wanted that to feel like what it feels like, which is just a mess. It’s on and off, and it’s always changing. You’re just sort of with it. You’re on the ride with it.”
During the special, Alyssa acknowledges that there’s a whole reality of her life that she’s lived without her dad since his death. “It is mind-blowing [to think about]. And that’s what initially got me was just, wait a minute, I would have to catch him up. I would have to catch him up on who I am,” she said. “And I’m harder now, and I’m softer in ways. That got me because obviously when you first lose them, I’m still the person I was then. So you’re not dealing with that. You’re just dealing with: they’re gone. And I think six years later, that’s exactly what I was dealing with. I was like, ‘Oh my gosh, I am so different than that person.’ And that’s the one he knew. What a weird thing.”
Alyssa admitted that at first No Bad Days was her way of keeping the memories of her dad alive in the wake of his death. “I couldn’t even fathom the idea of not talking about him or having him next to me on stage, and in a way, I just needed him there and I needed to talk about him and tell people about him so he wouldn’t go away,” Alyssa said. “I think that was a real big part of the start of this journey, and what the back half taught me in a really lovely way is that all that memories and stuff it’s okay if I don’t remember those. My dad is inside of me, and he has changed the way I view life. He’s changed the course of my life. He’s in every second of what I do, so it’s almost like I’m maybe now even okay to let go of this show because I realized all those tangible memories or all those experiences at the end of the day, it’s not the house or his shirt. He changed me. He’s inside of me. He’s pushing me, and that is where he lives. And so if I don’t talk about him ever again, which I know I will, but if I don’t, he’s with me.”
While the grief and loss of her dad will “always be a part” of Alyssa, she feels good about “closing this chapter” of her life. “I feel good having that be preserved as it is, and then now being open to see what comes up next. How do I think of grief now? Where does he live now? It’s exciting in a way. I’ve had this thing anchoring me for so long with my dad that now without that I am it’s one more layer of like he’s got to live in me even more. So I think it’s almost a good challenge,” she told HollywoodLife.
The comedian hopes that No Bad Days will help viewers not shy away from their grief. “I think if we do just talk about it more, it’s permission for other people to talk about it,” she continued. “I felt that way with this show. The audience gave me permission to talk about this, and then I gave them permission after the show to talk to me about their parents. All of a sudden, I know a lot about people’s parents who have passed away that I might not have without it. So I hope that we keep talking about it and normalizing it because it’s extremely constant and normal. It’s waiting for all of us, and so we have to talk about it. As much as birth and pregnancy, it’s like it’s the other side of it. Our hospice nurse was really wonderful at that being like, ‘You treat the end of life like the beginning. You’re ushering someone out of this earth.’ And that is a really special moment as well as coming in.” Alyssa Limperis: No Bad Days is now available on Peacock.