Brie Bella Admits Reliving Her High School BF’s Death In New Memoir Was ‘Hard,’ But ‘Therapeutic’

It was quite emotional for Brie Bella to open up about the loss of her HS boyfriend in her book, but she explained to us EXCLUSIVELY why reliving the past was also ‘therapeutic.’

Years before Brie Bella met her now-husband, Bryan Danielson, she was in love with a boy who she referred to as “Bear.” She opened up about their high school romance in her and sister, Nikki Bella’s, new memoir, Incomparable. Sadly, Bear died when Brie was just 18 years old, and although it was a painful memory, she relived his death and what she went through in its aftermath in the memoir. In an EXCLUSIVE interview with HollywoodLife, Brie admitted that going back to those times was not easy.

“I definitely found it therapeutic,” Brie told us. “But it was really hard to relive at my age to just think of myself in high school and it was my first love. We were so in love and we had all these plans, like what we were going to do outside of high school. I thought of myself at a young age, going through that, and it made me sad when I had to retell that story. I’ve had so much spiritual growth since then. So that helps me. But it was weird to just talk about myself at 18 years old and everything I felt then. I literally felt my world collapse on my shoulders, but I do love that the world gets to read about Bear. He was such a special human and it almost makes me proud that people now know him and know just how incredible he was.”

Brie added that it was also very difficult for both her and Nikki to relive their childhood while writing about that part of their lives. The twins were teenagers when their parents got divorced, but they dealt with many years of fighting and tension before that. “You always want to protect the people you love, but at the same time, you want to tell your story,” she explained. “My parents were kids trying to raise kids. The situation wasn’t easy, but we did feel like it was important to tell that story because we know there’s a lot of kids in our situation, who don’t have the most pleasant childhood, and it can either make or break you.”

Now that the book is out and has become a New York Times Best Seller, Nikki and Brie still have a lot to focus on — they’re both going to give birth this summer! This will be the second child for Brie and Bryan, but she admitted that she’s feeling a bit of pressure due to suffering postpartum after giving birth to her daughter, Birdie Danielson, in 2017.

“I’m definitely feeling more nervous [this time],” Brie said. “I feel like I finally got it all under control — how to have a career, be a wife and be a mom all at the same time. But being a mom to one. So, having to bring in another definitely scares me a bit.” In terms of postpartum, she added, “You never know when it’s going to come, but I feel like, now, I know how to deal with it and the signs….I’m happy that I’ve already experienced the down moments of motherhood and the things that were hard for me, because now I could put that into baby number two and really be a pro.”

Incomparable is available for fans to buy and download now. Plus, Brie and Nikki are also currently appearing on Total Bells, which airs on Thursdays at 9:00 p.m. on E!