“The ‘runs’ were some of the most horrible moments of my life,” Jaycee writes in the book. “I can’t think of a good moment even when a ‘run’ was over. I always knew there’d be a next time. I could see no end in sight.”
Jaycee describes the moments vividly, saying Phillip would make her wear makeup and dress her in “tight clothes,” which had “holes in weird places.”
“He tells me to lay on the bed in a certain way and then he gets undressed. He has a little bag of white powder. I’m not sure what it is. Maybe that’s the crank he talked about… He asks if I want some and I say no. He says it helps him stay up, he calls it speed or crank.”
Jaycee writes that Phillip told her he had a sex problem and that she was helping to cure him, “so he wouldn’t have to bother anyone else.” She believed him. He told her he would teach her how to be the best “sex slave” ever. Just heartbreaking.
He would tie her up in certain positions “by those eye hooks on the wall” and then lift her legs “with straps in different positions.” She describes one horrendous moment:
“One night he had been working on the position, trying to get it right for hours and realized he needed to go pick up Nancy from the nightshift where she worked a convalescent home. He said he was just going to leave me tied up because it was the perfect position. He was gone for a while. My legs were in such an awkward position, I got leg cramps and the straps hurt my ankles. I was relieved when he got back, I wanted to get it over with so I could be done and go to bed.”
Can you imagine anything worse than what Jaycee lived through, HollyMoms? It’s hard to believe that someone who faced terrifying experiences like these turned out to be such an amazing and strong woman.
–Leigh Blickley
More On Jaycee Dugard Here
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