So there it was. That second pink line—the line that I had been anticipating for the last two weeks. Wait….was I seeing things? Is it disappearing? I called my husband in the bathroom for a second opinion regarding that “extra pink line.”
Despite the fact that my husband was beyond elated, he repeated in a monotone voice, “Of course, honey, there is STILL a second line.” Mind you, this was my fifth pregnancy test!! I just had to make sure!
My husband and I have been married for two years now, and I couldn’t wait to be pregnant and become a mother. I couldn’t wait for it all! I have been (and obviously will continue to be) a stepmother to three wonderful children. But this was a new and exciting time for us. All of which, we had to keep a secret until the calendar hit three months.
How did we keep such good news a secret? Well, I wanted to shout it to the world. And not just from the rooftops, but on Facebook and Twitter! We each told our respective parents, who were thrilled and excited to say the least. And all the others would just have to wait. Between the trips to the bathroom, the mild instability from mood swings and moodiness, my insatiable appetite, and constant fatigue, the time flew by.
For me, the immediate fatigue was one of the most difficult initial changes that I went through. I had always been a person with lots of energy. I had the ability to work during the day, have a continued enthusiasm to attend events, and socialize with friends ‘til the wee hours of the morning. But this was totally new to me. I was lethargic all the time. Any possible downtime I had, my eyes were closed. I was tired in the morning, tired after a nap, tired after a meal, but of course I couldn’t fall asleep at night at a proper bedtime. I found that in order for me to function in the world around me, I had to close my eyes sometime through out the day.
For my husband, he had to adapt to my ever changing food cravings. Because when I craved it, I had to have it NOW! From waking up my husband in the middle of the night for a grapefruit, to my odd request for a Jamba Juice at 11:30 at night, to him pleading with a pizza place to open its door after closing time (which he succeeded in doing), he had to satisfy my every whim. The guilt of my demands and my somewhat diva behavior unfortunately did not outweigh my indulgences.
With my newfound appetite, I shouldn’t have been at all surprised when my favorite dress no longer fit like a glove, but rather fit like a glove that was two sizes too small! I was heading to an important event that evening, and as I tried to shimmy into my leopard print Dolce and Gabbana dress (as seen on CW’s High Society), it dawned on me that it was time…time to edit my closet. Once I finally wrangled a barely closing zipper, I looked in the mirror to see a reflection of something that did not at all resemble my body. Though my husband greatly appreciated my new voluptuous figure and thought it was hot, hot, hot, stuffing myself into that dress made me feel more like the cartoon character Jessica Rabbit! I felt very uncomfortable letting those new puppies loose into the wilderness without any proper support. I didn’t enjoy wearing something that left little to the imagination.
Overall, this just wasn’t me anymore. I could still be sexy, but this just wasn’t worth it. And one thing my mother always said, it doesn’t matter what you wear, as long as you wear it with confidence. So rather than trying to pry myself into a dress using a shoe horn, I hung up it up and with no reservation, traded in my tailored Dolce and Gabbana dresses and tight-fitting bandage Herve Legers, for something a little bit more comfortable.