Keeping Up With The Kardashians: Kourtney & Scott Try Lube And New Sex Positions For Baby Making AND Kylie Runs Away From Home On Last Night’s Episode!

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Courtesy of E!

Kourtney was totally TMI, as she told the world about her sex life AND poor Bruce failed as he tried to tighten the reigns on his youngest daughter Kylie!

Kourney Kardashian, I know you want a second baby, but COME ON! Between you and Kim Kardashian gabbing about your painful vagina, and your own mom Kris Jenner talking about the size of Scott Disick‘s penis, I felt like I was locked in a room against my will!

The episode started off with Kris telling Kim she saw Kourtney’s baby daddy butt naked, and then proceeded to compare his “package” to a sausage in her fridge! I love Kris to death, but that was just creepy. Then, Kourtney and Kim took Mason for a stroll in the park, and very sexually sucked on phallic looking popsicles [above], as they talked about Kourtney’s difficulty getting wet “down there.” [so unnecessary]

Kim made sure to share her infinite sexual wisdom by telling Kourtney point blank: “buy lube.” Cut to next scene, Scott and Kourtney rolled up to a local pharmacy and a harmless bystander to buy them lube — all for the Disick going rate of $50. But as if that wasn’t enough, Kourtney and Scott brought cameras into their bedroom as they tried different sex positions! Scott even put a pillow under Kourtney and said: “All I have to do is peel it back.” Eww, that’s just gross.

On the Jenner front, Kylie freaked out because Bruce embarrassed her in front of a bunch of 13-year-old boys. Bruce made sure to stand his ground by telling Kylie that boys are NEVER allowed in her bedroom under any circumstance. Kylie pretended like she didn’t hear Bruce, and invited one of the boys up to her room. Bruce freaked out and caused the little boy to almost wet his pants! Kylie then put on her booty shorts and ran away the rich girl way, she called a car service.

The episode was one of the better ones, most likely because Kim made an appearance. The focus really needs to be more on Kim, because let’s face it, she’s the only reason I watch — don’t you agree?

— Chloe Melas