Nick Viall ‘Reflected’ On Feeling ‘Helplessness’ & ‘Pain’ In His Past Relationships For New Book (Exclusive)

Nick Viall leaned on his personal experiences, experts and therapy to bring his new book, 'Don't Text Your Ex Happy Birthday' to life.

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Image Credit: Dexter Brown

If you’re planning some holiday travel, then Nick Viall’s new book Don’t Text Your Ex Happy Birthday should be on your beach reading list! The former Bachelor star’s advice book hit shelves this fall and he spoke to HollywoodLife.com in an EXCLUSIVE interview about where he sourced most of his counsel in the book, and some happened to be from his personal dating history. “I tried to sprinkle in my personal life… it’s more so anecdotal, so when I was writing it, and I had a situation that I had experienced, I would talk about that,” he explained. “I talked about my first break up, because I think it was a very relatable early love. We breakup, get back together, break up, get back together, break up and have that fear that I’ll never get over her and that constant fighting for the relationship, even though you know, deep down, maybe there’s nothing to fight for, but you’ve never loved anyone else.”

Nick Viall’s new book. (Courtesy of align PR)

Nick added that he spoke with various experts and went to therapy himself, to garner more information for the book. “I wanted to come from a place that, regardless of gender of my audience, I very much relate to their pain. I relate to their confusion and sadness and frustration, I relate to the kind of feeling of helplessness when it comes to relationships,” he explained.

The ‘Viall Files’ host admitted that he “brings in some tough love” throughout Don’t Text Your Ex Happy Birthday, but he does it because “we have to pick each other up and sometimes give each other that tough reminder to not get down in the dumps.” Nick speaks from experience, he added, telling HL he is “someone who really likes to hold on to their pain.” “I wear it like a badge of honor, but that was really my ego trying to figure out a way to feel special when I was feeling down, and that can just get us really stuck,” he said.

Nick Viall. (Dexter Brown)

Now, Nick is in a longterm relationship with model Natalie Joy, and while things aren’t always easy, the reality TV alum said communication is the key to their successful relationship. “Natalie and I have always been very communicative, even before we were official. We were still dating other people and living in different states, but we were very upfront and we had some of those awkward conversations just checking in,” Nick revealed. “We never wanted the other person to feel confused about where the other person stood.”

“If you think of things in terms of ‘us’ and ‘we,’ any problem that happens in a relationship, even if you feel something or they do, at the end of the day this is an ‘us’ and a ‘we’ problem, because ‘we’ and ‘us’ want to be in this relationship,” Nick continued. “So, if we come from that mindset, I think it helps people resolve conflicts, or at least be more apt to wanting to, because it’s not about winning or losing. It’s not about pointing fingers. There’s a common goal of working together.”

Don’t Text Your Ex Happy Birthday is currently available to purchase in bookstores nationwide and on Amazon!

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