Justin Bieber Admits He Wasn’t Sure He’d Survive His Depression: ‘I Don’t Even Think I Should Be Alive’

With tears in his eyes, Justin Bieber broke down while recounting his intense struggles with depression, and how being ‘hurt’ by the music industry sent him deeper into a dark, dark place.

“I don’t even think I should be alive, never mind thrive,” Justin Bieber, 25, said during a playback of his forthcoming album at Village Recorders in Los Angeles, according to Variety. The album preview, held during the heart of Grammy week, not only gave listeners a chance to hear Justin’s new music, but it showed an intimate side of Bieber as he opened up about the depression he faced when he entered adulthood. Justin reportedly began crying while recalling how he had been “hurt by the industry” and “the people” within it. Though he didn’t name any names, Justin reportedly added that the experience of growing up within the music world made him unsure who to trust or turn to during these challenging times.

Ultimately, Justin credited God with helping him make it through. “There’s power in weakness,” he said, according to Variety, who notes his voice quivered when he said it. Justin, according to our sister publication, noted that his creative work is “a reflection of that … thank you for loving me at my worst.” He also made sure to thank his wife, Hailey Bieber (née Baldwin), for supporting him. “I love you with all my heart … and I’m so proud of us.” After this healthy cry-session, Justin cracked a joke. “I gotta get it together,” he said, adding, “I’m going to go shoot myself.” (Bieber made sure to emphasize that this was a joke, according to Variety).

During this playback, Justin took the time to thank those close to him, including Scooter Braun. “You walked with me through a lot of sh-t,” he said to his friend/manager/mentor, who was also at the event. Justin also gave love to SB Projects’ Alison Kaye, songwriter Poo Bear, and photographer Alfredo Flores. Justin joked that Flores wasn’t at the event because he was “on the road, cheating on me with Ariana Grande, that’s fine.”

“I’m just so grateful,” said Justin. Those on-hand were also grateful for the sneak peek at his new album, which Variety notes has an “R&B influence that can be heard throughout the new songs.” This lends credence to the speculation that Justin’s new album will be called R&Bieber. He took to Instagram on Oct. 27, 2019, and simply posted “R&BIEBER.” Shortly afterward, he reportedly attempted to trademark the term for “entertainment services in the nature of live musical performances and production of sound recordings,” according to TMZ.

As to when this album will arrive, it could be on Valentine’s Day. Justin tweeted a series of dates on Jan. 21: “January 27, January 28, January 29… February 14th.” With his docuseries starting on the 27th, he’ll likely release a second single (28th) and a video (29th), with the album arriving two weeks later.

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