Men cheat on their wives with the nanny as a way to escape to a ‘fantasy life,’ a psychotherapist EXCLUSIVELY explained to HollywoodLife. Is that why Gavin Rossdale reportedly cheated on his estranged wife Gwen Stefani with their nanny?
Was Gavin Rossdale, 50, living out a “fantasy life” of having sex with one woman, and being married to another, when he allegedly cheated on Gwen Stefani, 46, with their nanny, Mindy Mann? HollywoodLife chatted EXCLUSIVELY with New York City psychotherapist, Dr. Robi Ludwig, to get to the bottom of this recurring phenomenon: men cheating with their nannies. Ben Affleck, 43, Jude Law, 42, and countless other men–famous or otherwise– have been caught doing so, and we have some answers as to why.
“I think that men can get overstimulated by having more than one woman in the house,” Dr. Ludwig told HollywoodLife EXCLUSIVELY. “They sexualize that you have a woman that fits a very traditional idea of what a woman is. She’s cleaning the house, she’s taking care of the children. Nannies cater to the family, that is their only job.”
While we can’t know the individual circumstances of Gavin’s reported cheating, Dr. Ludwig illuminated why this is such a frequent occurrence, both in Hollywood and outside of it. “There’s no competing job or goals,” she said. “I think it figures something in a fantasy life. It’s very sexy to see a woman– especially a beautiful woman– taking care of the kids, seemingly having one focus and that is to make their lives easier.”
So, why do the men do it? “It comes down to men thinking they can get away with it,” the doctor told us. “And once they do get away with it, they think they can continue to get away with it. They delude themselves via denial, thinking they’ll never get caught… Or the husband may just like the idea of having a woman for sex and then a separate women he’s married to.”
Dr. Ludwig also explained that, whether or not a husband and nanny relationship can actually work out, depends on how much of it is actually based on that fantasy. “One of the issues is, how real is the relationship, or is it based on a fantasy?” she said. “Is she always going to be ‘the nanny,’ or is her status going to change when she becomes a real woman? Eventually, relationships become more equal. The things that attract you in the beginning are just the facade.”
Do you think men cheat with the nanny as part of a fantasy?
— Casey Mink