Jill Duggar will release her tell-all memoir, Counting the Cost, on Tuesday, September 12, and the book includes several shocking revelations about her family. In the memoir, the former 19 Kids and Counting star and her husband, Derick Dillard, opened up about their experience with TLC and her family’s IBLP (Institute in Basic Life Principles) practices. IBLP is a non-denominational Christian organization that has faced backlash for its male-dominated teachings.
The book’s description teases readers that the couple were subjected to “manipulation and intimidation” at the hands of Jill’s family — particular her father, Jim Bob Duggar.
“Jill and Derick knew a normal life wasn’t possible for them,” the memoir’s description reads. “As a star on the popular TLC reality show 19 Kids and Counting, Jill grew up in front of viewers who were fascinated by her family’s way of life. She was the responsible, second daughter of Jim Bob and Michelle’s nineteen kids; always with a baby on her hip and happy to wear the modest ankle-length dresses with throat-high necklines.”
Keep reading to find out everything that Jill reveals in Counting the Cost.
Jim Bob Screaming, ‘You’re Guilty!’
According to an excerpt obtained by PEOPLE ahead of the memoir’s release date, Jill described a tense meeting between her, Derick and Jim Bob. The TLC alum recounted how her mother and father reacted to a letter she had apparently written about her parents.
“There was no scowl on her face, no folded arms. Just a look of pain. The pain of a mama torn by her baby,” Jill wrote about her mother, before adding that Michelle said, “‘It was the most disrespectful thing I’ve ever read.’”
Jill then recalled how she had sent Jim Bob a text about the tension in their family, “in the hope that it might wake Pops up to how bad I felt things had gotten.”
“‘You sent me a text message, Jill. You said I was verbally abusing you,’” Jim Bob allegedly said to Jill, per the book’s excerpt. “’I was so offended by that, too. You know in your heart that’s not right. Are you going to apologize for that?’”
After silence filled the air, Jill revealed that she started crying, to which her father allegedly said, “‘You know why you’re crying, don’t you? Your conscience is talking to you. That’s why. … You’re guilty!’”
Jill Accusing Jim Bob of Treating Her Worse Than Josh
After Jim Bob scolded her, Jill stood up for herself, which she recalled in the newly released excerpt.
“‘You want to know why I’m crying?’” she wrote in the book. “‘It’s that you think I’m some kind of horrible person just because I wear pants and have a nose ring, and yet you see that girl outside and praise her. That’s why I’m crying, daddy. I’m evolving and changing, just like that girl out there, but you can’t see it. You treat me like I’m a prodigal who’s turned her back on you. You treat me worse than you treat my pedophile brother.’”
Jill’s “pedophile brother” comment was a reference to Josh Duggar, who was imprisoned after being found guilty of child pornography charges.
Jim Bob Challenging Jill’s Choice to Wear Pants
Four days ahead of the book’s release date, a source told In Touch that in her memoir, Jill recalled Jim Bob’s reaction to her decision to wear pants — a major diversion from the Duggar family’s strict dress code for women. The Duggar family patriarch had approached Jill on why she was wearing leggings instead of dresses and skirts.
The insider told the outlet that Jim Bob gave a book to Jill about the significance of a modest dress code, to which Jill felt “embarrassed” and “humiliated” by.
Jim Bob Called Jill’s Nose Piercing a ‘Huge Mistake’
Jill wrote in her memoir that she left her parents a voicemail to inform them that she wanted to get her nose pierced. While Michelle didn’t have much to say in response, Jim Bob “pleaded with [Jill] not to do it.”
“He told me I was making a huge mistake,” Jill recalled. “He begged me to think about how it was going to affect my little sisters. He said I was ruining my life.”
Jim Bob Threatened to Lower Jill’s Inheritance
In another part of her book, Jill revealed that her dad threatened to lower her inheritance because she and Derick were trying to get the money that was owed to them from 19 Kids and Counting and its spinoffs.
“‘If you attack us, probably your inheritance will be lowered significantly,’” Jill claimed her father said to her. “‘I love you, but I am grieved by the disrespect and the accusations that continue.’”
Jill Misses the ‘Ease of Communication’ With Michelle
“I love her, respect her, and look up to her,” Jill wrote about her mother in another excerpt from her memoir. “She is the first person I call whenever I have a question about our baby’s health, and I love that we can still connect that way no matter what family drama is occurring. But I miss her too. I miss the ease of communication we used to have. I miss it so much that there are times I almost wonder if it would be better to go back to the way things were, when Derick and I were happy to fall into line and silence our questions.”