Kelsea Ballerini opened up about her feelings leading up to her split from her husband of five years Morgan Evans during the latest episode of the iHeart podcast Tell Me About It With Jade Iovine, released on Tuesday, December 13. The country popstar, 29, spoke about how she started to realize that the relationship was coming to an end, and how difficult the divorce was.
At first, Kelsea said that she thought that their relationship was hitting a new period, but she realized that she wasn’t going to feel the same way again. “For a while, it was kind of like, ‘Okay, this is just a new phase of a relationship,’ because relationships go through seasons, right? And it’s not always going to be rainbows and butterflies,” she said. “For a long time, I was like, ‘Oh this is just—The glitter wears off. That’s what happens.’ And then you get into a phase where you just wait for it to come back. And then sometimes it doesn’t.”
The Subject to Change singer said that as she thought about the relationship, she realized that it wasn’t productive to stay in the relationship. “At the end of the day, it is such a disservice and a dishonoring of yourself if you know something is not right and you stay,” she said. “[Shame about divorce] is the one thing that I just refuse to feel. Judge me for it, fine, that’s on you.”
Kelsea also revealed that she’s been on tour since the split and has yet to really spend time alone, as she’s been on the road with her crew and friends. “I’ve had my people really rally for me, and I’m not ready to be alone yet, and I don’t think that I’m avoiding anything, because I’m definitely in my feels, because I really want to heal properly,” she said. “I don’t think that’s what I need right now.”
Kelsea and Morgan got married in 2017, but the country singer announced that the pair were breaking up in an Instagram Story in August. “This deeply difficult decision is the result of a journey of love, growth and effort that has ultimately come to an end,” she wrote. “It’s extremely difficult to find the words here, but I feel extremely grateful for the years of marriage to Morgan and hopeful for the next seasons. With very active schedules coming up, please be mindful that we are both fragile, actively healing and showing up the best we can.”
During the podcast interview, the singer also spoke about her parents’ divorce and how her perspective shifted with her own split. “I wanted to rewrite my parents’ narrative by getting married, and right now, in this current, I’m wanting to re-write my parents’ narrative by getting divorced,” she said, also explaining that her mom and dad’s split has helped her through the current breakup.