Cecily Strong also returned as Rudy’s star witness Melissa Carone, complete with a cocktail in hand — which she alleged was the ‘vaccine’ for COVID-19!
Kate McKinnon, 36, slayed in Saturday Night Live‘s cold open as former NYC mayor Rudy Giuliani, 76! Rep. Matt Hall called the senate to order (and one of the “great horrors” of his life) as the Michigan hearing started. “It’s great to be in the court room where I’m not the defendant…honestly, I’m just happy to be in doors…as my associate will explain, this was stolen was by a level of trickery not seen in Houdini,” Kate’s Rudy declared.
Melissa Carone, everyone. pic.twitter.com/TcZytbDzNL
— Saturday Night Live – SNL (@nbcsnl) December 6, 2020
“But we’re going to turn this over in states like Georgia-valynia, North de Canada…but today I’ve got some highly intelligent, barely intoxicated individuals to tell the truth,” he went on, seemingly confused by the names of the states he’s ‘investigating.’ First up? Cecily Strong as Melissa Carone, who went viral for her testimony last week. “I promise to tell my whole story and nothing but my story…I have been threatened. I’m not lying, I’ve signed an after-David…that’s right. David signed, then I signed,” she explained to the confused room. Of course, the real-life Michigan hearings happened earlier this week amidst allegations Donald Trump, 74, is making about voter fraud in the election after Joe Biden, 78, won.
Heidi Gardner‘s witness then appeared with a bizarre confession of her own. “Well your honor, I’m not proud of this — but see, I ate ballots,” she revealed, puzzling the room once again. “That’s right, I didn’t mean to — but the demo-crats pulled up at lunch time with a food truck and it was full of ballot pizza, ballot sandwiches, ballot spaghetti,” she added. We’re going to guess that didn’t go down very well on the stomach.
Cecily’s Melissa then came back to blame the “dominion” for cheating. “Well, for starters, they cheated me out of my cheesy bread,” she claimed, as others pointed out she appeared to be confused between Domino’s Pizza and the dominion. As if that wasn’t enough, she pulled out a martini while on the stand — claiming it was actually the COVID-19 “vaccine.” Kate’s Rudy didn’t seem to mind with her glass of scotch, noting that she’s gotta drink every 15 minutes or will “explode.” For a final witness, “Nicole Kidman” appeared as her character from The Undoing (actually Chloe Fineman) in defense of her on-screen husband Hugh Grant, who she said was “too hot” and “too white” to be guilty.”
Jim Carrey‘s Joe Biden and Maya Rudolph‘s Kamala Harris have also been nailing the political segments on Saturday Night Live! The pair been epic since the October premiere of SNL, nailing their impressions of the now President-elect and Vice President-elect. The duo were front and center in the last episode of the sketch series, which happened mere hours after the real-life Joe and Kamala’s historic win. “I honestly kinda can’t [believe I won]. It’s been so long since something good happened…we kept edging closer and closer, it was like having sex with Sting! I’ve never felt so alive and I’m barely alive,” Jim’s Joe joked, humble as ever.
Impressively, SNL recreated the real Kamala’s all-white suit for the sketch! The chic outfit was a nod to the Suffrage movement, which hit its 100th anniversary this year. “Like Joe, I am humbled and honored to be the first female — yes — the first Black, the first Indian American, and the first bi-racial Vice President,” Maya’s Kamala declared, going on to slay with a hilarious (and on-point) joke. “If any of that terrifies you, I don’t give a funt. My husband is also Jewish and the first second husband, so between us, we check more boxes than a disqualified ballot,” she added, referencing Kamala’s husband Doug Emhoff.