Jana Kramer & Mike Caussin’s marriage is an open book in the couple’s new memoir, ‘The Good Fight.’ After overcoming a separation, they confessed they now have a ‘deeper appreciation’ for each other.
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Jana Kramer and Mike Caussin never shy away from the truth, especially when it comes to the highs and lows of their relationship. Now, the couple is opening up about infidelity, his battle with sex addiction, love and forgiveness in their new memoir, titled The Good Fight: Wanting to Leave, Choosing to Stay, and the Powerful Practice for Loving Faithfully. Jana and Mike reflected on the early days of their relationship in the introduction for the book — available starting Sept. 22 — confessing that it was “a love like we never imagined.”
The duo were living together after just three months, married in under a year and knew they were “in love” just 10 days in! “I jokingly said that I hoped we wouldn’t be one of those couples who fight all the time…In that moment — I s— you not—we both smiled, looked into each other’s eyes, and actually said to one another at the same time, ‘But what will we ever fight about?'” The couple separated after Mike’s sex addiction and infidelities became public — but have since overcome their struggles and are stronger than ever.
Later, Jana recalled having a number of “flings and flirts” while separated from Mike in the fall of 2016. “I held back putting this in the book because, well, I never truly thought I did anything wrong,” Jana writes in The Good Fight. “Correction. I knew it was wrong; I just didn’t want to be the bad guy. I justified my actions in my mind just as I suppose Mike had done all along too,” she explained. At the time, Jana was competing on Dancing With the Stars.
Jana and Mike’s separation came in August of 2016, after news of the former NFL player’s extramarital affairs, which led to Jana giving him an ultimatum: “You need to go somewhere. Basically, you need to figure out what’s going on and what this is, or I’m gone, period,'” Mike previously explained on Jana’s Whine Down podcast in March of 2019. The couple worked through their issues with professional help, and still apply what they learned in therapy as they navigate their now-healthy marriage. The couple went on to reconcile in 2017, after Mike sought treatment for sex addiction at an inpatient facility.
After years of working through their relationship woes in the public eye and therapy, Jana says that she now trusts her husband. “The answer is, ‘Yes, today I do,'” she writes about the heavily asked fan question, “Do you trust Mike?” She wrote, “[My therapist] said, ‘No major life changes for a year.’ To which I replied, ‘Are you kidding?’…She went on to say that in her experience, it’s best to not make any huge life decisions for a year after a traumatic event so you have time to process all the information and to cool down.”
Each night, the couple does a check-in with each other about feelings, affirmations, needs, own and sobriety — also known as FANOS. “These check-ins set us up for success…They provide a neutral ground for us to discuss whatever may be going on. We’re able to set aside feelings of defensiveness and listen from a supportive, loving place. Doing them has helped us be in real time more than we ever thought we were capable of,” they wrote.
In The Good Fight, Mike opens up about his addiction. “I want to be very clear about something: society has had the nerve to call sex addiction a ‘married man’s excuse’ to which I say bull…(wait for it)…s–t,” he writes. “Addiction is not an excuse at all, and I make sure to never use it as such. However it is an explanation.”
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We did it. We frickin did it. Today is an emotional day but also an incredibly proud one. We poured our hearts and soul into this book. Every word on these pages we wrote because we lived it. When I was in my darkest times in our relationship I was searching for a book that I could relate to, that could give me hope, that even though our marriage was destroyed we could still make it. Because I couldn’t find it, we wrote it. All in hopes that none of you have to feel alone. We share some of our deepest fights, triumphs and all the lessons in between. We hope you laugh cry and know you’re not alone. We hope wherever you are in your journey whether single, married, or divorced that you choose to fight for yourself because you are worth fighting for and we promise it’s a good fight. @thegoodfightjm #thegoodfightbook
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Communication and “showing up” for each other have been key to getting their marriage back on track, they shared. “If you show up for your partner and love that person using the love language she or he understands, you’ll be showing a deeper appreciation for your loved one,” they wrote, confessing to how they maintain a healthy relationship. “You’re showing that you’re willing to make that extra effort.” And that they’ve certainly done.
Jana, who shares two kids with Mike — daughter, Jolie, 4, and son, Jace, 1 — explains in the book, “Today I see him working his program, I see him showing up as a father and a husband, and I see his words matching his actions. How he is showing up looks different than before, which helps me trust him.”
In The Good Fight, Jana and Mike, who wed in 2015, encourage others not to compare their relationships to the couple’s. “You might read some of our arguments and think, ‘Whoa, they’re a mess!’ — or better yet, ‘a hot mess.’ Or you might read a particularly awesome moment for us and feel like s–t about your love life — and then the next thing you know, you’re picking a fight with your loved one because of it,” Jana writes. Instead, the couple says that their new tell-all book is more of a spiritual guidance and practical advice for anyone seeking stronger, more fulfilling love.