Holly Madison’s Sex Confession: My First Time With Hugh Hefner Was ‘Miserable’

How disturbing. Holly Madison is opening up about her sex life during her time living at the Playboy Mansion, and her depictions of life with Hugh Hefner are anything but romantic. Holly Madison, 35, spent years as one of the many Hugh Hefner, 89, girlfriends and a Playboy bunny at the legendary mansion in Beverly Hills, Calif. Just 21 when she moved in, Holly is finally looking back at her time with Hef, and she's letting the world know that things were not okay in the bedroom -- or anywhere else, for that matter.

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In her new memoir, Down the Rabbit Hole: Curious Adventures and Cautionary Tales of a Former Playboy Bunny, Holly discusses many aspects of what made life as a Playboy girl so unreal. But by far, the most upsetting passage of the narrative is when Holly details the sexual expectations placed upon her. As a young, impressionable woman, Holly moved into the mansion and became one of “the blondes” who surrounded Hef.

“The first night I had spent at the Playboy Mansion was definitely very eye-opening. It was clear that there was certain things expected of you. It was clear that there was a definite routine going on, and it was very bizarre. It definitely wasn’t what I expected it to be, it was a lot scarier. I was offered prescription drugs,” Holly shared in an interview with Us Weekly.

Holly went on to explain some very strange and graphic details of that first night, which started with slipping into pink, flannel pajamas. “Two huge television screens projecting graphic porn lit up the otherwise dark bed. In the middle, a very pale man was tending to his own business (if you’re catching my thinly veiled innuendo) and puffing on a joint before passing it around to the nearest blonde. The girlfriends, in various stages of undress, were sitting in a semicircle at the edge of the bed — some kneeling, some standing, some lying down.”

She also said playmates liked to “f***” celebrities behind Hef’s back at mansion parties.

Well, that’s horrible! Poor Holly! Thankfully, the Girls Next Door star was able to make friends within the mansion — namely Bridgett Marquardt and Kendra Wilkinson (who has shared her own account of miserable sex with Hef in the mansion) — and leave after some time, finally finding true love with husband Pasquale Rotella. She is now mother to adorable Rainbow. We can’t even imagine what she went through during that time in her life.

Since discovering Holly’s disses, Hef is now furious with his ex-girlfriend, HollywoodLife.com has EXCLUSIVELY learned. He thinks there would be no Holly Madison without him.

HollywoodLifers, were you disturbed by Holly’s story? Let us know in the comments and be sure to take our poll!

— Samantha Wilson