Demi Lovato Reveals How She Came Out To Her Parents After Releasing ‘Cool For The Summer’ In 2015
Eight years after singing ‘Don’t tell your mother,’ Demi Lovato spoke about how she came out to her parents in the wake of ‘Cool For The Summer.’
In May, Demi Lovato released a rock version of her hit, “Cool For The Summer,” on a recent appearance on SiriusXM’s The Pulse, she told host Brady about the impact that the song had on her personal life. “I released ‘Cool for the Summer’ before I came out to my parents, and it’s very, it’s like, ‘Got a taste for the cherry, I just need to take a bite’–kind of lyrics,” said Demi, 30. “It’s like very obvious, but I didn’t feel like I was ready, and one day I was, you know, about to go to a show. I was sitting on a plane, and I was with my stepdad, who’s basically my dad, and I was like, ‘Hey, I need to tell you something,’ and I was like, ‘I like girls too,” and he was like, ‘Yeah, I know. You have ‘Cool for the Summer’ out.’ I was like, ‘Oh.'”
“My mom kind of had the same reaction in a way,” added Demi. “I was actually getting ready to go on a date with a girl, and I was like, you know, I didn’t know if I would be photographed or what would happen, and I really liked this girl, and I was like, ‘You know, I think it’s time to tell my mom in case it becomes serious,’ and so I sat my mom down, and I was like, ‘I need to talk to you,’ and I said, ‘You know, I am about to go on a date with a girl and I just wanted you to know and hear it from me that I do like girls too.’ She just, like, almost started crying and was like, ‘I just want you to be happy.'”
“To have that reaction from a parent is so valuable and so appreciated because there [are] so many parents that don’t respond that way, and it breaks my heart,” continued Lovato. “So, providing that energy and being a part of the community is so important to me, and providing a safe space is so important too. That’s why, you know, I post on social media all the time about just being queer and what it means and things that are in the public eye. You know, what’s going on, current events, I post about it because it’s really important to me, and I want, you know, 15-year-old you to feel like you’re appreciated and valued.”
Demi said that she came from a Christian background but grew up queer — and hid that for most of her life. She “didn’t tell people until, you know, I felt comfortable with it, but it took me until I was 25 to come out to my mom. At the time, I was bisexual, and then I realized I was pansexual, and so it took me a while.”
In a June interview with GQ Hype Spain, Demi – who came out as non-binary in May 2021 — explained why they began using the “she/her” pronouns instead of “they/them” exclusively. “I constantly had to educate people and explain why I identified with those pronouns. It was absolutely exhausting. And that is one of the reasons that have led me to also feel comfortable with the feminine pronoun. I just got tired,” said Lovato.
“It also happens when filling out forms, such as government documents or any other where you have to specify your gender,” she/they added. “You only have two options, male and female, and I feel like none of that makes sense to me,” she said. “I see myself conditioned to choose a woman because there are no more [options]. I think this has to change. Hopefully, with time there will be more options.”