TW: suicide
National Suicide Prevention Week concludes on Saturday, with the National Alliance on Mental Illness orchestrating more events for Suicide Prevention Awareness Month for the rest of September. Adding her voice to the many helping to spread hope and information of those affected by suicide is singer-songwriter Auti. In “4 Years,” premiering on HollywoodLife, the Charleston, West Virginia native pens a heartfelt ode of her own experiences, having lost a close friend.
“That no matter / How long I sit by the phone / There’ll be no call / There’s nothing at all,” she sings before the chorus. “Except four years of standing on shattered glass, but here I’ll stand / And four years of trying to change the past, / knowing I can’t.”
Auti’s song will resonate with those who have felt the indescribable pain of losing someone to suicide. It’s a sincere unpacking of those conflicting emotions (“is it selfish to be mad at you?” she sings, “after everything they put you through”), showing that this act is not a clean-cut, black-and-white affair. Against a piano melody that mirrors the loss in her words, Auti bears her soul in one of her most personal offerings yet.
“On the 4-year anniversary date of my friend’s passing due to suicide, I sat down at the piano and just… talked to him,” Auti shares with HollywoodLife. “I said everything that I wish I could have said to him, both before and after he had passed. That’s how my song’ 4 Years’ came to life.”
“Through my music, I acknowledge the baggage that so many of us carry around and try to avoid – like a heavy weight,” she adds. “Everyone finds themselves dealing with mental health issues at some point in their lives, and I believe it is extremely important that we address those tough times, because it is the first step to preventing suicide.” Auti’s message is also for those who have lost someone to suicide, to help bring comfort to those left asking those questions that will never be answered.
“Something that many of us deal with when we lose someone to suicide is the nagging question of if we could have done something to change their mind or prevented it,” she shares. “I believe it’s best to remind yourself of the love and light you shared while they were still here, and the meaning their life held doesn’t have to stop after they are gone. You can use that loss to save others.”
Auti, winner of the 2021 Artist of the Year at The Josie Awards (the largest independent artist award show), previously released “Speed” and “Miss Me Baby” this year.
If you or someone you know is in crisis, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 988 or contact the Crisis Text Line by texting TALK to 741741. Please note, the previous 1-800-273-TALK (8255) number will continue to function indefinitely.