Nikki Bella Admits She Still Cries Over Her Split With John Cena: ‘We Had An Amazing Bond’

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Nikki Bella opened up about how she’s dealing with her split from longtime love John Cena on the newest episode of The Bellas Podcast and revealed she still misses him sometimes.

She may be in a new relationship but Nikki Bella, 35, is not completely over her 2018 split from ex-fiance John Cena, 42, and she let her fans know it on the latest episode of The Bellas Podcast, which was released on Aug. 21. When answering fan questions about how she’s handling the breakup, Nikki admitted it still affects her to the point of tears. “As far as how you get over a breakup, you really have to do the work on yourself,” she explained on the episode. “You really, truly, have to love yourself and every day dedicate something to you that is making you better. You also have to let yourself cry. That’s one thing my life coach helped me a lot with, because I still, you guys, get days when I cry about my breakup.”

Digging deeper, Nikki went on to say her feelings make sense considering how close she was with John. “But we were together a long time, we had an amazing relationship and an amazing bond and a lot of love for each other,” she explained while addressing the “confusion” about their split. “But, every day when I need to cry, I let myself cry, because crying is healing. And so, when those tears come, I don’t try to hold them in, I find a quiet place and I cry. Also, on top of it, I meditate.”

Nikki also said that she can’t go into too many details about her former relationship with John because she signed a Non-disclosure Agreement (NDA). “John wants to keep things private, which is amazing, I respect him so much for that,” she said. “The one thing that I can tell you from my point of view and my emotions and my perspective…towards the end I started to become a miserable person. I was very, very unhappy.”

“For John and I, it was just…the timing was off,” she continued. “I think what I realized is that I want someone…when I spend the rest of my life with someone in marriage, I wanna be with them every night. I want to spend holidays with them, I want to grow with them, I want to know that they really do wanna be a parent.” She also admitted that it was “crazy” because the closer they got to the wedding the more she felt things between them were “off”. She still thinks John was one of her “soulmates” in life though, and feels the same about her current beau Artem Chigvintsev, 37, who she’s been exclusive with since around June.

After their split, John was seen also moving on romantically with Shay Shariatzadeh.