In her new book ‘A Letter of Love,’ Kailyn Lowry shockingly revealed that she didn’t feel like she could love her son Lincoln while she was pregnant with him.
Teen Mom 2 star Kailyn Lowry, 26, is about to release a brand new book, “A Letter of Love” and in it, she reveals a lot of personal issues that she went through, including the struggles she went through when she found out she was pregnant with her second son, Lincoln, now 4. She was already a mother to her son, Isaac, 8, and didn’t think she could love Lincoln as much as him. Due to this, she even thought of possibly giving him away when she gave birth. “I never thought that I could love another person as much as I loved Isaac,” Kailyn wrote in the book. “I didn’t believe that I had the capacity to love the same way. I was so afraid that I couldn’t be the mother to Linc that I was to Isaac. I cried all the time. I was so anxious, and I would get upset about everything. I worried all the time.”
After her worrying, Kailyn turned to her husband (and Lincoln’s dad) at the time, Javi Marroquin. “How can I love another child the way that I love Isaac?,” she continued. “He was my whole world. I even told Javi that maybe he should just take the new baby, and I would go off with Isaac. I could not believe that these were the thoughts that I was having, but they were real.” The negative feelings didn’t last once Lincoln was born though. “After giving birth to Lincoln, I cried so hard,” she explained. “When I saw him, it was instant love! I had no idea that I would be able to love him like I loved Isaac. I had no idea that my love for both of them would multiply. In that moment, I knew that I could do it. I knew that I could be a mom to two boys…I quickly learned that love multiplies, it doesn’t divide.”
In addition to her fears about Lincoln, Kailyn used the book to open up about her rocky marriage to Javi. “I feel like I rushed into things,” she admitted. “I had a child at a young age; therefore I felt like getting married to someone would be a resolve. After the first year, the relationship was extremely toxic, but we were already married. This was a lesson for me but at the expense of my child.” She also revealed that they were always fighting to the point where they didn’t even sleep in the same bed anymore.