‘Curb Your Enthusiasm’ Recap: Larry David Is Back With A ‘Foist’ & Might End In A ‘Fatwa’

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The world has been Larry David-less for six long years and as the ‘Curb Your Enthusiasm’ promos stated, we ‘need him now more than ever.’ But we might lose him all too soon, seeing as in the Oct. 1 premiere he managed to offend an entire religion and get a hit placed on him in under 40 mins.

Larry David‘s alter-ego (basically, just more Larry David) returned with a vengeance in the Season 9 premiere of Curb Your Enthusiasm on Oct. 1, and boy was he mad — at soap. The opening shot of “Foisted!” featured the 70-year-old’s futile struggle with some liquid cleanser in the shower, which is probably a pretty good way to kick off a show about a man who spends his life fighting a losing battle. The episode only went up from there. In the long-awaited kick-off to the even longer-awaited season, Larry offends two lesbian brides (one he thinks really is more of a “groom” type — there’s a formula, don’t ask), his friend Richard Lewis (who he decided to text, instead of call, after his parakeet died), his manager Jeff’ Greene’s (Jeff Garlin) wife Susie (Susie Essman) (by foisting his horrible assistant onto her) and, oh, yeah, an entire religion. Click here to see pics of Curb.

By the end of the episode many fans were probably googling, “what is a fatwa?” because Larry found himself at the center of one. Yes, Larry offended the Ayatollah Khomeini — the supreme leader of Iran — and was sentenced to death. How did he do this? While we’ve been waiting for the hit HBO series to return, Larry has been spending the past several years writing a Broadway musical called Fatwa! The Musical, which centers around the famous author Salman Rushdie who had a fatwa placed on him by the Ayatollah years ago for writing The Satanic Verses — a book which he found extremely offensive. This means the Ayatollah has ordered any Muslim person to kill Salman upon seeing him.

When Larry goes on Jimmy Kimmel Live! to promote his new project he decides that impersonating the Ayatollah in a rather offensive manner (come on, it’s Larry) is a good idea. However, the next morning he turns on the news to find out that the Ayatollah was so enraged by his impression that he has issued a fatwa on Larry. himself. So now the Seinfeld creator has a hit on his back and the FBI telling him he should probably lay low for a while. Classic Larry, just much more offensive on a much bigger scale. Like walking-around-in-a-disguise-so-he-doesn’t-get-killed scale. We’re thinking this will be a theme throughout Season 9.

Meanwhile, Cheryl (Cheryl Hines) and Larry are still divorced and she has started a new charity, People Against Mutilation (PAM), which promotes awareness about female genital mutilation aka female circumcision. Larry “foisted” his assistant (who bailed on him for two days because she was constipated) onto Jeff’s wife Susie after Jimmy Kimmel had shoved her off onto him. Leon Black (J.B. Smoove) — Larry’s unwelcome roommate turned BFF — was also back at it, this time acting as Larry’s temporary assistant, who forgets to tell him that Jeff thinks pulling out his Ayatollah impersonation on Kimmel was a life-threateningly bad idea. Leon also teaches Larry that he can ‘lamp’ — a even more relaxed form of chillin’. By the end of the episode, Larry has managed to end an engagement between two women because he didn’t want to pay $150 for a haircut. Man, how did we manage to live without the disaster that is Larry David for all these years? It’s good to have him back!