So much for the supposedly idyllic ‘polygamist perk’ of sister wivery – a built-in best friend or friends . Meri and Janelle have never enjoyed support and companionship with each other as they shared a husband, and then added wife #3, Christine, and #4, Robyn, to their plural marriage. Instead, Meri and Janelle have spent years resenting each other and living like virtual strangers.
It all started — not surprisingly — when Meri, who had had husband Kody all to herself for three years, had to start sharing him. “Kody and I had been best friends. We were very close. Had been together for three years. When Kody and Janelle went off on their honeymoon, I was jealous,” she confessed. Who could blame her? Well, not even Kody. “I think being jealous is normal for women,” he observed. Aw–yess, it is, when they’re expected to share their husband.
Janelle, on her end, had no idea of how to deal with Meri’s hostility. The pair had actually been good friends before Janelle married Meri’s husband. “I didn’t ‘get’ this woman. I didn’t know what was wrong with her. I didn’t do conflict,” explains Janelle. “I checked out when she seemed so confrontational.” The situation couldn’t have been helped when Meri suffered serious fertility issues before finally giving birth to her one child, Mariah. Meanwhile, Janelle proceeded to have six children with Kody.
Meri didn’t get the companionship that she was hoping for with a sister wife: “I wanted to have fun with Janelle. Sit on the couch and giggle, but she wasn’t open to that kind of relationship.” Janelle responded to Meri’s more direct, confrontational personality by retreating into work. “I was always very career-oriented, so I just went to work.” The thaw between these two was a long time in coming. Three years ago, Meri told Janelle she’d be willing to work on their relationship, but Janelle declined. “I was too hurt,” she explained.
Then a year and a half ago, Janelle relented, but by that time Meri “needed to think about it”. The moment to try reconciliation finally arrived after Meri’s recent devastating catfish experience. The two sit down with therapist Nancy and role play each other. The results are pretty epic for the pair. “I have to learn not to take her directness as offensive,” admitted Janelle. Conceded Meri: “I have to learn to communicate your way, too.”
The pair finally both agree that it sure would have been better if they’d checked themselves into some therapy sessions 25 years ago. Hmm! Maybe Kody could have encouraged that, too. Strangely — or maybe it’s smartly — he doesn’t like to be the go-between for his wives. Clearly, it’s up to them to work out their own sister wife relationships.
Do you agree, Hollywoodlifers, that this is the right approach? Should Kody stay out of the issues that his four wives have between themselves, or should he intervene? Let me know.