Spoiler alert: Stop reading now if you haven’t seen the polarizing ‘True Blood’ season finale. I’m about to whine about many major plot points.
Sookie (Anna Paquin) and Warlow’s wedding day finally arrived on the Aug. 18 season finale of True Blood, but like most major events in Bon Temps, it didn’t exactly go off without a hitch. In fact, it was pretty much one big non-stop hitch, as Warlow revealed his true intentions to his future bride. Spoiler alert: He’s a total hybrid douche.
I’ll try to sum this up quickly: Using Adelyn’s light — and Violet’s temper — Bill (Stephen Moyer), Jason (Ryan Kwanten) and Andy (Chris Bauer) crossed over to the fairy plane and rescued Sookie from her evil fiancé. They brought the fight to Chez Stackhouse, where Niall re-emerged and helped Jason stake Warlow once and for all.
But just when it seemed like everyone’s troubles were over, Billith’s blood finally wore off, forcing the captive vamps to return to the shadows. And this transition proved especially difficult for one fan-favorite vamp… and his penis.
Is Eric Dead?
An unsuspecting Eric (Alexander Skarsgard) was sunbathing atop a Swedish mountain when Billith’s magic wore off, and the audience was forced to watch in horror as his naked body — and by “naked,” I mean we literally saw his penis — burst into flames.
So… is that it? Is Eric really dead? Freakin’ Terry Bellefleur gets three full episodes dedicated to his memory, yet Eric — arguably the most fan-loved character on the series — just burns off without so much as a “see ya later”?
I really want to believe Eric and his penis are still alive, but nothing in the episode seemed to imply otherwise. Pam (Kristin Bauer Van Straten) is not going to like what she finds.
Brave New Bon Temps
About halfway through the episode — shortly after we were treated to Eric’s sexy-yet-tragic death scene — we suddenly jumped six months into the future, bringing about major changes for everyone. Here’s a quick rundown of what your favorites are now up to:
> Sookie is dating Alcide (Joe Manganiello). What?
> Bill is a best-selling author. Yeah, OK.
> Jason is Violet’s “love” slave. Whatever.
> Sam (Sam Trammell) is the mayor of Bon Temps. Qualifications?
> Arlene (Carrie Preston) owns Merlotte’s, which is now called Bellefleur’s. Blasphemy.
Adding to all that weirdness, humans are now being paired off with vampires for “protection” against the Hepatitis V-infected vamps roaming the countryside. In fact, the episode ended with those very same bloodsuckers arriving in Bon Temps in the middle of a party at Merlotte’s — I mean, “Bellefleur’s.”
And that was it. That was the big season finale we’ve all been waiting for. While I appreciate the show obviously trying to get back to its small-town roots, and while I also believe Alexander’s penis deserves a guest-star Emmy nomination, I just feel like there was no closure — aside from the death of Warlow, of course, which actually kind of bummed me out. I wish they hadn’t completely turned his character around on a dime. It felt cheap.
As for Eric, his death — if that’s really what happened — was definitely the biggest blunder of the hour.
Nay, the series.
Now that I’ve ranted, tell me what YOU thought of the finale, HollywoodLifers. Are you dying for season seven already, or did this hour — mainly Eric’s unconfirmed-but-likely death — leave a bad taste in your mouth? Drop a comment with your review below.
— Andy Swift