In her first post-breakup interview, Ali reveals that endless ‘explosive’ fights and their different personalities drove her to leave Roberto.
After an 18-month engagement, Bachelorette Ali Fedotowsky and Roberto Martinez called it quits on Nov. 21. In a new interview, Ali finally tells the heartbreaking story of how her endless fights and the battles lead her fairy tale romance to come crashing down.
“I wouldn’t be being truthful if I said this came out of nowhere,” Ali tells People magazine. “We definitely had been having problems. But I had always believed that we could work it out.”
The problems started right from the beginning of their relationship when they both moved to San Diego, Calif. Roberto was focused on starting his own insurance office, but Ali found it hard to get her own career going. She worked on-and-off as a news correspondent and had a Style Network gig, but that fell through.
“We were trying to establish ourselves individually,” says Ali. “But a relationship should be solid regardless of circumstances.”
Roberto couldn’t handle that Ali wanted her own career. “Roberto seemed bothered that Ali was career-minded and had a social life,” an insider adds. “He is very old-fashioned when it comes to a woman’s places.”
Ali tried to play to role that Roberto expected of her. “I helped him build his business, and I’d bring him lunch all of the time,” she confesses. “I was so supportive of him.”
But they started fighting more and more. “In the past six months, he kind of lost it,” says the insider. “He’d be really good and sweet in public, but their fights could be explosive.”
Ali and Roberto had conflicting ideals. “A lot of times what I wanted to do and what he wanted to do didn’t match up,” she shares. “One of us was always compromising with the other, or we both ended up not doing what we wanted and staying home.”
Roberto couldn’t handle it when Ali had to undergo knee surgery in July. “It really affected us,” she admits. “I couldn’t really be active like I wanted to be. I hit a low.”
Their differences lead to major personality conflicts. “He would rather be alone on weekends,” notes Ali. “He’s more introverted. I love being around people and sharing stories and going out to dinner.”
Ali and Roberto tried hard to make it work. First they decided not to rush down the aisle and then they postponed their nuptials twice. But after all the time they spent trying to fix their problems, their fights continued.
Ali moved out in November to stay with a friend and do a trial separation. “I went back to our apartment … so we could have a dinner and talked,” she remembers. “At the end of the day we both realized we were unhappy more than we were happy.”
“And we both deserved more,” she continues. “I just knew that we needed to go separate ways. Something inside both of us said we still had more figuring out to do. We take marriage very seriously. It’s not something we were going to do and just hope it works out.”
Roberto “is devastated” by Ali’s decision, claims another source. “He really thought this would last and that they’d get married.”
Ali has yet to return the $50,000 Neil Lane engagement ring — and she still speaks to Roberto daily. “I found real, true love, and I’m grateful that I had that experience,” she cries. “There’s no hate. I still love him, and I always will. But what matters is how we feel, and we both knew it wasn’t right.”
“All of my things are going to be in storage until I figure out what to do,” says Ali. “I literally don’t even know where I want to live, never mind what I want to do.”
BFFs — are you shocked that Ali and Roberto are done?
– Lindsey DiMattina
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