When cheating happens in a relationship, it could be a lot to overcome. Learn how to get past it, like Cardi B and Offset did, from relationship expert April Masini.
While Grammy Award-winning artist Cardi B, 26, has had one of the best years of her life career-wise, she has had some public up-and-down moments with her husband Offset, 27. The musician decided to try again with her marriage to Offset after his cheating scandals in 2018. Relationship expert April Masini spoke to HollywoodLife EXCLUSIVELY about how to move on in a relationship after a partner has cheated, and what exactly you can do to move forward together as a couple.
“Cheating does not have to mean the end of a relationship,” April said, which has proven true from Cardi and Offset getting back together after separating. “The reason is that cheating does not happen in a vacuum. The cheating happens because of a confluence of factors. When both parties in a relationship, where there has been cheating, want to work on the relationship, they can move past it.”
April said that cheating can happen “because the cheater felt good outside of the relationship.” She added, “In fact, he or she felt good enough outside the relationship with someone else, that the primary relationship didn’t matter enough to stop the cheating. If you’ve got a relationship [and someone is] cheating, take responsibility for your part in the relationship.”
April advises that if you’re in a relationship and your partner cheated on you, self-reflect on your actions within the relationship. Not to mean that the cheating was your fault, but maybe seek some clarity on why that person may have felt something was missing in the relationship. “Is there an unaddressed stressor in the relationship that is causing your partner to seek attention elsewhere,” April questioned. “Is it work, money, a sick family member, anger about something that happened that hasn’t been resolved? Whatever it is, chances are [the cheater is] acting out because [they’re] mad, and when this happens over a long term, it affects the relationship and partners tend to look elsewhere to feel like heroes and to feel valuable.”
To come back together in the relationship, if that’s something you want, April suggests you recommit to one another. “If you both want to work the relationship, do it with both feet in,” she said. “This is hard, but it’s crucial. Recovering after a betrayal takes time. And some of that time is difficult and even ugly.” April emphasized the need to talk with your partner, and dig into the root of the problem so it doesn’t happen again, and you can figure out how to move forward. Why the cheating happened could include a multiple of reasons – the partner could’ve felt neglected and wanted attention, they may feel like you weren’t interested in them sexually, and so forth. April said that if you address the core reason or reasons for why the partner cheated, it’s possible the cheating won’t happen again. “This is tough work, but it’s absolutely doable,” she said.
However, that’s not always the case, and not everyone can move past cheating. But for some, there are other factors to consider that could influence the decision of staying together or not. “If you can’t get past a betrayal, then you need to move on,” April said. “Many people can’t handle cheating — especially when the stakes aren’t that high. For instance, when there are children involved [like for Cardi and Offset, who are parents to seven-month-old daughter Kulture], there’s more at stake and making a relationship work isn’t just about the two of you, it’s about keeping a family together. But that assumes you can make it work. If you really can’t and you’re bitter and angry, and it’s affecting the kids from the relationship, then you should move on, for everyone’s sakes.”