Cardi B Says She Wants Offset To Have Sex With Her ’30 Different’ Ways On Her B-Day — TMI?

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If Cardi B, 26, and Offset‘s mansion is rocking tonight, don’t come knocking! In a video posted on her Instagram account this evening, Oct. 11, the “Bodak Yellow” rapper thanked her fans “for the love” they sent her way for her birthday, before going into a tangent about how badly she wants to have sex with her husband. Her exact words were, “[I want] my husband to f*** me in 30 different positions. I want [him] to flex me like a New York pretzel!” Wow — we don’t think we’ll ever be able to look at a New York pretzel the same way ever again.

But to be honest, this isn’t even the craziest thing that Cardi B’s ever said. Fortunately, Offset really loves her, so she’ll probably get that sex she’s looking for! As we previously told you, he gifted Cardi with a grey Lamborghini on Oct. 4 — a week before her actual birthday. “So, I was going to go to LA, and mother f***ers called me talking about, ‘it’s an emergency’ and I gotta go to Atlanta because Offset fainted and sh-t. And, I’m just like ‘oh my God, what is going on?’” Cardi said on an Instagram video, before flipping the camera around to show her new ride. “I’m so happy,” she gushed before joking, “Now I’m really gonna have to learn how to drive!” She also said she was “so happy and thankful” before telling Offset she loves him.

“I’m happy and mad at the same time i been crying and praying for like 2 hours .I love you babe Thanks for the gift .Please don’t scare me again you know i suffer from anxiety,” she further said.

At least we know Offset won’t be scaring Cardi B tonight! But then again, getting flexed like a New York pretzel could be frightening…. we think.