The action was nonstop in the RHONY finale. Countess LuAnn threw a one-year dating party, Simon hopes she marries Jacques and loses her title and Ramona nuttily thinks she’s pregnant at 54.
With all the insults and backstabbing that these supposed besties have laid on all season, I don’t know how I’m going to wait till next year to pick up where this busybody crowd has left off.
Last night’s, July 21st, episode gave the ladies every opportunity to lash out at each other. First of all no one is particularly happy for the Countess who is ecstatic that she’s so in love with Jacques Azoulay that she’s throwing a one-year dating party.
It seemed like a fine idea to me, but not to Jill Zarin who said she hoped that it was an engagement announcement party or it might not be worth her while to schlep herself there.
Meanwhile, LuAnn de Lesseps was in such a good mood about her happy love life that she even invited Alex McCord, the woman who insulted her mothering skills last episode, to the party, Alex responded to the favor by telling us that “80% of the time LuAnn can be really insufferable.” Her husband also stuck the knife into the party hostess when he gleefully announced that if the Countess married Jacques, she’d lose her title. Nice, Simon, nice!
But Alex and Simon van Kempen weren’t the only meanies this episode by far. Sonja Morgan and Cindy Barshop wasted time again trying to make up and only ended up insulting the bejesus out of each other again.
Cindy was pissed that Sonja invited her for a “makeup” breakfast on one of her busy work days. “I get up at 6:00 am,” Cindy announced to Sonja trying to imply that Sonja was a spoiled lay-about who sleeps till 9:00.
But then Cindy did the unthinkable: she took a business conference call in Sonja’s kitchen and told Sonja who was cooking breakfast, to “shush.”
“I don’t think the Churchills would say that to me,” Sonja name-dropped and huffed all at the same time. Sonja was actually right — Cindy was unbelievably rude, but she wasn’t willing to apologize in the girls’ disastrous new makeup get together in a flower shop. Why they were in a flower shop, I have no idea.
Cindy had no excuse for her rudeness that made sense to Sonja or me. “I thought I was helping you with business. I thought maybe you could learn something from that call,” she told an incredulous Sonja.
“When Cindy said I could learn something from that call, I almost choked,” Sonja shared. No wonder Sonja had to reassure us that she’s a “pretty sharp business woman.” “I didn’t get where I am because I fell off a potato truck!”
Well at first condescending Cindy just let Sonja “chirp on,” while she tried to think about what she was going to wear tomorrow. She calls Sonja “derailed.” But when the girls got into a sniping match over whether Cindy treats her staff like slaves, Cindy had had enough and walked out, mumbling, “I’m done with you.” Rude!
In the most non-sensical part of the episode, Ramona Singer became convinced she was suddenly pregnant at the unlikely age of 54!
Thanks to big mouth daughter Avery, 16, we were subjected to over-the-top TMI! We now know that Sonja still gets her period every month like clockwork.
“You’re proud of that. You tell me, that’s why I look so young,” Avery blabbed about her mom, who admits that she now regrets only having one child.
Ramona “regretful” Singer goes on to imagine that her boobs have grown. They’re “out of control, they look like melons,” she tells Sonja. “They’re tender. They’re jugs. I got jugs.”
She says she’s five days late, but is too scared to take a pregnancy test so Sonja buys one, takes it to the Countess’ party and then locks herself and Ramona in the bathroom, so Ramona can pee on it.
Jill dramatically freaks out that Sonja and Ramona are in the bathroom together and then helpfully points out to us: “at this age when you miss your period, it’s because menopause is knocking at the door — knock, knock, knock!”
Thanks Jill for raining on Ramona’s pregnancy parade.
But even more unbelievable than Ramona’s pregnancy at 54, is Alex posing for a magazine photo shoot with a lot of zits and husband Simon impatiently cooling his jets while he waits for her to finish.
She does have one funny moment of self actualization when she admits that she was on a 10 Worst Dressed of the Year List. Later when she shows up at LuAnn’s party in a pink satin short shorts suit you know why she snagged that honor.
And mean-tweeting husband Simon in his red plaid pants deserves to top the list.
The best dressed person in the whole episode was surprise party guest Natalie Cole who looked stunning in a tight red, bust -revealing party dress and who sang “Money Can’t Buy You Class,” even more stunningly.
My only regret after watching the episode was that there wasn’t more face time with Kelly Bensimon who only got a chance to tell us she’s hoping for a real, authentic, “non-demonic,” boyfriend.
I bet a whole lot of women watching last night are hoping for the same thing!
— Bonnie Fuller
More on RHONY:
- Bonnie Says Recap: ‘RHONY’ Kelly Bensimon Warns Alex McCord That She’ll Be ‘Iced’ If Husband Doesn’t Stop ‘Mean-Tweeting!’
- ‘RHONY’ Star Sonja Morgan May Lose Her $6 Million House In Nasty Divorce Battle!
- ‘Real Housewives of New York City’ Star Jill Zarin On ‘White Collar’ — Will You Watch?