Kylie Jenner and Tyga are on the outs. Like HollywoodLife.com EXCLUSIVELY told you, Ky is taking some time to evaluate her love life. So, HOW do you even tell what phase your relationship is in? Is it a ‘fling,’ a ‘hookup’ or the ‘real’ deal? Our experts have the answers!
Kylie Jenner, 19, and Tyga‘s relationship has been plagued with breakup rumors after the rapper, 27, has been MIA on her social media accounts. Not to mention, HollywoodLife.com EXCLUSIVELY learned that the two have been “living separate lives” while their relationship has been “cooling down.”
Now, Kylie just needs some “me” time while she sorts out her relationship issues with Tyga. While the two were serious at one time, they’ve had four “breaks” in just two years of dating, and there’s been rumors of him using her for her money. So, what type of relationship do they even have?
Well, that got us thinking — What are the signs to determining the level of meaning in a “relationship” anyway? So, we caught up with Lori Zaslow and Jennifer Zucher, co-founders and professional matchmakers of Project Soulmate, to explain how to decipher between a fling, just friends with benefits, and a full blown forever kind of relationship.
Determining if it’s a “fling”…
So, Lori and Jennifer gave us a scenario: You meet a guy who you’re immediately attracted to and the chemistry between you guys is undeniable. You may not know it at the time, but that chemistry is only physical, and the intentions aren’t deep. So, you decide to take that steamy relationship to the next level, but a gut feeling hinders your happily ever after. “Unfortunately,” they said, “Your gut feeling may be right.”
Signs of a “fling”:
● No real conversations — “Flings” tend to steer clear from real conversation, which involves deep talks, emotions, or the future. In cases where it’s not a “fling,” people tend to open up to individuals they feel comfortable with, or see a future with. However, if your guy/girl avoids real conversations, like our experts explained, then he’s most likely only looking for a temporary “fling” — This means NO personal attachments.
● No real date nights — “Flings” keep romantic escapades “in house,” Lori and Jennifer said. In other words, “fling” date nights usually involve movie nights in the comfort of a living room, away from all public interaction or the possibility of you guys labeling each other as your BF/GF.
● No relationship, just sex – “Flings” tend to, “hit it and quit it,” our experts divulged. So, this means they’re not looking to get to know you, because that, of course, leads to feelings of attachment. A “fling” isn’t looking to let out the skeletons in his/her closet, the Project Soulmate co-founders put it. Rather, the majority of his/her attention is focused on the action in the bedroom…
Friends with benefits Vs. Crushes with Potential
“Does he really like me, or are we just hooking up?” — The relationship phrase Lori and Jennifer said is uttered more often than “I do.” People, especially girls, always let their heads wander to the “happily ever after place” in between all of the flirting, texting, hanging out, and hooking up. You wonder, “Could this be a real relationship, or are we just friends with benefits?”
Well, our experts said, “Yes, you could simply ask him what he wants, but then he might think you want something more, which could in turn completely change the dynamic of your relationship… crazy right?” Lori and Jennifer Zucher explained how to tell the difference between a crush or a friend with benefits…
● Scenario: You receive a “You up?” text late at night. A typical friend with benefits (FWB) will only contact you after a certain time at night. People who actually want to pursue a relationship [hense a crush with potential] will text you throughout the day. Lori and Jennifer said, if he’s texting you during late hours, then he’s only looking for a hookup, aka [FWB].
● He/She “hates relationships”. People who only want to be FWBs will usually point out their disdain for relationships. If he/she talks about previous romances and how he/she isn’t ready for something serious, then he/she is most likely using you to pass the time before someone he/she actually wants to date comes along.
● He literally says “I don’t want anything serious”, and talks about seeing and dating other people. “When involving yourself in a friends with benefits situation, you must take the relationship for what it is and move on. Don’t expect him to act like your boyfriend or treat you any differently if you’re in a FWBs situation. “
This situation is obviously much more different than a “fling” or a FWB situation. It’s the real deal when you and your partner have already overcome the “What are we phase?” and have defined the relationship as BF/GF. In fact, you’re on the verge of love. However, one lingering question remains in the back of your mind, “Are we going to last?”
Now, the reason you’re questioning if it will last is because you’ve felt excited about “flings” in the past, the experts said, therefore you question whether this is just another one or actually forever after. So, here’s a few ways to determine if it’s real..
● You accept his past and he accepts yours. “Regardless of your past, the both of you choose not to let that affect the future of your relationship. No one is perfect.” Therefore, if you can honestly forgive and let go of past mistakes, the two of you will be just fine!
● You communicate openly and clearly. “Like stated before, ‘flings’ and FWBs refuse to communicate openly and deeply. But, in healthy relationships, there are no topics that are ‘off-limits.'” When it comes to power and love in your relationship, you two share the both of those things, and neither of you look down or criticize one another.
● Your sex life continues to get deeper and richer. “Even when the relationship lulls (and all relationships inevitably will for a short period of time), intimacy and closeness allow for you to connect on a deeper level with your partner. A healthy sex life is important for long lasting relationships, as intimacy allows for partners to nurture one another’s physical needs in the hopes of creating depth and richness in the relationship.”
HollywoodLifers, does your relationship fall under one of these phases?