Fiona’s history came back to bite her — again — and a tense confrontation quickly turned fatal.
It was ‘out with the old, in with the new’ on the Oct. 23 episode of American Horror Story: Coven, as Fiona (Jessica Lange) determined Madison (Emma Roberts) to be the next Supreme. Too bad the coronation had to be cut short, because when Ryan Murphy said someone was going to die on episode three, he wasn’t messing around.
After a night of bitching, boozing and bonding, Fiona asked Madison to kindly slit her throat and assume her place as the next Supreme. You know, normal stuff girlfriends do after a bar crawl. Anyway, it didn’t even matter that Madison wasn’t into the idea, because Fiona had plans to turn it all around the whole time. Slice!
So that’s how the episode ended, with Madison bleeding out and Fiona smoking a congratulatory cigarette — which, by the way, should be great for her cancer.
Queenie Gets Mino-TORE UP
Queenie (Gabourey Sidibe) also made a new friend this week: one of Delphine’s (Kathy Bates) former servants, who’s now apparently a very sexy minotaur. He’s not really my cup of tea, but Queenie sure seemed interested, so she begged him to plow her in a dark alley.
I’ll be honest, that part made me really uncomfortable. I mean… there was just so much thrusting. And Precious was moaning. And there was that really steady bull-nostril breathing sound throughout that totally killed the moment for me.
No thanks on the bull sex.
Zoe Discovers Incest-Murder
Elsewhere, a guilt-ridden Zoe foolishly decided to reunite Frank-teen-stein with his stoner mom, Alicia — and strangely enough, he’s not the one who made things weird. No, that was all done by Alicia, whose idea of tucking her son into bed also includes open-mouth kissing and some pretty heavy fondling.
Surprisingly, this incestuous fairy tale did not get a happily ever after. When Alicia tried to come onto her son a second time, he bashed her head in with a football trophy. I’m glad Zoe returned just in time to find Kyle soaked in blood, standing over his mom’s corpse.
I mean, how did she think this reunion was going to end?!
Cordelia Takes A Bloody Baby Bath
The ever-barren Cordelia, having exhausted all other options, paid a visit to Marie Lavaeu (Angela Bassett) for one of her trademark fertility spells. The whole exchange was very Little Mermaid — that is, if Ariel asked Ursula to shower her in mer-blood, then vigorously rubbed her lady-fins in front of a bunch of strangers.
Anyway, Marie refused to help because she knew Fiona was Cordelia’s mother, so that whole spell scene was really just for our own sick amusement.
I’d also like to give special kudos to Patti Lupone, as the ladies’ new Christian fundamentalist neighbor. She’s bonkers, but also kind of incredible.
What did you think of this episode, HollywoodLifers? Do you think Madison is really dead? Drop a comment with your theories!
WATCH: ‘American Horror Story: Coven’ Promo
— Andy Swift