Warning: Stop reading now if you don’t want to know how this week’s ‘Game of Thrones’ ended. Spoilers ahead!
If you weren’t suffering multiple heart attacks at the end of the June 2 episode of Game of Thrones, it must have been because — like several fan-favorite characters — you were already dead. The season’s penultimate episode took at least one major player out of the ‘game,’ and I can’t imagine how next week’s finale can possibly compete.
At the risk of choosing my words very badly, let’s just cut to the chase: Robb Stark (Richard Madden); Catelyn Tully (Michelle Fairley); Talisa ‘Stark’ (Oona Chaplin); Robb’s direwolf, Grey Wind; and every member of the Stark army are dead. They’re just dead. They went to ask Walder Frey for his forgiveness — Robb had vowed to marry one of his gross, inbred daughters — and thought they were in the clear when Edmure agreed to step up and marry one of the nasties in Robb’s stead.
Everyone in the Starks’ crew was treated like an honored guest; little did they know, this was a one-way party. Walder’s soldiers made quick work of Robb’s men, then brutally slaughtered him, his mother, his wife — they also made sure to stab the unborn baby, who was to be named Eddard, a few times — and his direwolf.
The closing credits rolled to appropriate silence.
Arya’s In For A Surprise
Lurking just outside the madness — and, unfortunately, catching a glimpse of some soldier-on-soldier carnage — was Arya (Maisie Williams) who, with the help of The Hound, managed to escape the slaughter just as quickly as she’d snuck in.
That ending aside, Arya was given some pretty nice scenes with The Hound this week. She kept him from senselessly murdering a poor traveler on the road, which had her thinking she was too soft for war. But just to make sure he knew that wasn’t the case, she ended the conversation with a not-so-veiled threat:
“Someday, I’m going to put a sword in your eye and through your skull.” (Yikes.)
We’re All Just Bran’s Puppets
Speaking of wayward Starks, Bran (Isaac Hempstead-Wright) picked up a handy new skill this week. In order to stop Hodor from giving away their location via one of his little temper tantrums, Bran somehow jumped into the big idiot’s head and forced him to calm down!
He used this trick again to see what was happening outside, and what do ya know, he spotted Jon Snow (Kit Harington)! Bran ‘saw’ his brother slay a crap-load of Wildlings — his bath-buddy Ygritte survived, of course — then ride towards Castle Black on a mighty steed.
Knowing the path will only get more bonkers from this point on, Bran sent Rickon and Osha (Natalia Tena) to safety. They both got a nice little send-off, but honestly, I don’t think they’ll really be missed.
The Many Men Of Daenerys Stormborn
And then there was Daenerys (Emilia Clarke). Though the khaleesi didn’t do much herself this week, she did send her men into another city — at the suggestion of her new favorite, Daario Naharis (Ed Skrein) — and was successful, once again.
Though Daenerys’ men haven’t been seeing eye-to-eye as of late, it was good to watch them have each other’s backs on the battlefield — especially Daario and Jorah (Iain Glen). Despite their feelings about each other, at least they can fight together for the woman they not-so-secretly love.
WATCH: The Bloody Red Wedding
HollywoodLifers, were you shocked by this week’s huge deaths? What do you think/hope will happen on next week’s finale? Drop a comment with your best theories!
— Andy Swift