‘Pain & Gain’ Reviews: Should You See Mark Wahlberg On Steroids?

Sat, April 27, 2013 12:04pm EDT by 6 Comments
Pain And Gain Reviews
Courtesy of Paramount

‘Pain & Gain’ hit theaters on April 26 with high expectations of Michael Bay massive action and Mark Wahlberg comedy. But did the movie actually meet them? Keep reading to find out!

Pain & GainMichael Bay’s (director of Transformers and Armageddon) latest action flick starring Mark Wahlberg and Dwayne Johnson promised to be a vivid, fast-paced extravaganza that also had a ton of laughs and a better story than most of Michael’s movies, not to mention Mark and Dwayne at their most muscled-out. It looks like flat out fun, but before you go dropping your paycheck (because movies are expensive!) to see it, check out what the critics had to say!

The Reviews of ‘Pain & Gain’

New York Post

A Michael Bay film is much the opposite of the new Michael Bay film, Pain & Gain, a dizzying lowlife saga that’s fast, smart, wicked, sort of ambitious and blazingly ironic. It’s as unpredictable as a Lindsay Lohan drive to the grocery store, as overstuffed as the pictures on Anthony Weiner’s Twitter feed and as hilarious as me on the bench press.

New York Times

The opening scene, a police chase from which the rest of the story flashes back, sets a tone of hectic excess. Mark Wahlberg, running from the heavily armed forces of law and order, dashes across rooftops and lumbers, sometimes in slow motion, through streets and alleys. The camera swirls around him, freezing as a glob of saliva pops out of his mouth, dropping down to allow us a peek up his nostrils and then tilting and sliding to register the impact of his face on the windshield of a car. What follows is two hours of sweat, blood and cheerful, nasty vulgarity, punctuated by voice-over ruminations about Jesus, physical fitness and the American dream, along with a few tactical visits to a strip club. It all leaves you pondering whether you have just seen a monumentally stupid movie or a brilliant movie about the nature and consequences of stupidity.

Los Angeles Times

When Michael Bay goes small, Pain & Gain happens. Humans handle the bone-crunching. The gore becomes gorier. The dialogue increases substantially too. Metal things may not transform, but they still make a world of hurt delivered by “Pain & Gain’s” iron-pumping bodybuilders.

AV Club

Set in sun-baked, steroid-addled ’90s Florida, Pain & Gain buffs up an ostensibly true story of greed and ruthless ambition into a comic-book macho fantasy of upward mobility gone awry. Any pretensions of satire, moral ambiguity, or social commentary get lost in a hurricane of empty, mindless spectacle.

Village Voice

Though this story needs no embellishment, Bay can’t help himself. He adds wild sidebars and shoot-outs to the already-insane material. At one point, a character feeds his own severed toe to a chihuahua. Bay injects slo-mo effects, Instagram-esque freeze-frames, and B-movie-style gore. These cheap tricks work like movie steroids, unnaturally inflating the appearance of what’s happening onscreen—and diminishing its overall, uh, potency.

You know what? Even the bad reviews make this movie sound like a ton of fun! Let us know what you think of Pain & GainHollywoodLifers!

WATCH: Pain & Gain Trailer

Subscribe to me on YouTube

– Andrew Gruttadaro

More Movie Reviews:

  1. ‘Spring Breakers’ Reviews: The Good, The Bad, The Ugly
  2. Kim Kardashian’s ‘Temptation’ Performance Slammed By Critics
  3. Critics Slam Lindsay Lohan’s ‘Reckless’ Performance In ‘Liz & Dick’

Leave a Reply

To comment, please fill in the fields below, enter your comment and select the Comment button.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

View Comment

dedicated hosting

Posted at 10:30 AM on August 5, 2013  

I think this is one of the most significant info for me. And i am glad reading your article. But wanna remark on some general things, The web site style is perfect, the articles is really great : D. Good job, cheers|

 Reply
Share this comment at Share with Twitter

dani

Posted at 10:45 PM on April 28, 2013  

Horrible. 5 minutes felt like an hour. Would not recommend to anyone.

 Reply
Share this comment at Share with Twitter

Manny

Posted at 9:14 AM on April 29, 2013  

How anyone can give Pain and Gain three stars evades me. Two hours plus of stupidity. It’s too bad it is a true story. I really feel bad for the actual victims.

 Reply
Share this comment at Share with Twitter

Neil

Posted at 11:25 PM on April 27, 2013  

This movie isn’t even worth a CBS special!!!!!!!

 Reply
Share this comment at Share with Twitter

Dana

Posted at 10:38 PM on April 27, 2013  

This movie is not worth seeing. It is full of porn, tourcher, and graphic murder while mocking God. And it is not funny at all.

 Reply
Share this comment at Share with Twitter

abe

Posted at 12:28 PM on April 27, 2013  

you aren’t aware this is a serious problem with numerous americans who wanna look tough.
justin biebery is a canadian with a likewise problem.

 Reply
Share this comment at Share with Twitter

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 7,256 other followers