Emily Maynard: Stop Finding Love On TV — It’s Better For Your Daughter

Thu, October 18, 2012 9:35pm EDT by 9 Comments
Jef Holm and Emily Maynard Break Up
Courtesy Twitter

Emily Maynard — you’re done looking for love on a reality TV show – that’s an order! After two reality dating stints, and two short-term fiances, you need to put Ricki’s needs first — not your spotlight cravings.

Emily Maynard, now that your romance with Jef Holm has crashed and burned, you need to protect your little daughter, Ricki,7, from the public eye from now on.
It’s hard enough on children to watch their single parents date. It’s scary and confusing to have new people come into their lives, competing for their parents’ affections.

But in Ricki’s case, she has only known one parent her whole life because her father died before she was born. Emily, you are Ricki’s anchor. You are her everything.

That is a tremendous responsibility, and you mustn’t take it lightly. Your daughter is deeply attached to you, and so you have to be careful when you introduce new potential “daddies” into her life.

Ricki Wants A Real Daddy, Not Fly By Night Daddies

Bringing new men into Ricki’s life has to stir up a lot of emotions for her. On one hand, she would probably love to have a daddy of her own. But she also probably fears losing you, to a man. After all, she doesn’t really know what it’s like to share her mom.

But it’s even tougher for Ricki than for most children in a similar situation. #1) You’re her mom, and you have had two “fiances” within a very short period of time that you’ve asked Ricki to accept and get close to. Then, #2) You’re doing your romancing on TV in the public eye, and little Ricki has to know about it, hear about it and see it.

Ricki has probably seen you flirting and even kissing different men on TV. That must be so confusing and probably upsetting to her. Plus, her friends and all their parents have probably watched you on TV.

Ricki is just seven years old, and that’s so embarrassing for her. She probably cringes when her friends say that they saw you on TV…especially if they saw you kissing or being intimate with all these men.

Poor Ricki Got Attached To Brad and Jef

So, Ricki has to cope with all the typical conflicting and upsetting emotions that any child of a single dating parent has to deal with, but she also has the pressure of your very public romances, on her little shoulders.

Then there’s the fact that she probably formed some attachments to Brad Womack and Jef Holm. Why wouldn’t she? You as her mom would have encouraged her to like Brad and Jef — after all, you were engaged to them. Brad and Jef both spent time with Ricki — especially, Jef.

Jef was carpooling Ricki to school and was even there for her milestone first day of school this year. “First day of first grade was a success,” he tweeted on Aug. 23. He even got involved in her soccer league. “Today is the big day, my first game as Ricki’s soccer coach. Running thru the playback in my mind”, he tweeted as recently as Sept. 15.

How disappointing for Ricki to get attached to Jef, have him play Dad and then have him leave her life.

Emily — you can’t do this to Ricki again until you have truly found “Mr. Right Forever”, not “Mr. Right for the Spotlight.”

“Children should not be introduced to a new boyfriend until the relationship is serious. The person could disappear and the child will be disappointed like in this case,” agrees psychotherapist, Dr. Gilda Carle, Today.com’s 30 Second Therapist. “It’s too bad. The kids establish ties with these new partners — and all of a sudden, they are not around anymore.”

Your Daughter Needs To Be Your Focus Again

Ricki has already had too much loss in her young life. You need to shield her from future emotional loss even if it means staying away from all future reality show dating, Emily.

Let Ricki’s life get back to normal. Let her be stable and have you around devoted to her. After all, you’ve been away no doubt for weeks at a time filming The Bachelor and the The Bachelorette.

“It would be best for her mom not to date for a while, and certainly not to date anyone high profile. Instead, she should spend a lot of time with Ricki to help her heal,” advises Beverly Hills psychiatrist, Dr. Carole Lieberman, author of Bad Girls: Why Men Love Them & How Good Girls Can Learn Their Secrets.

Emily, you must have learned by now that reality TV is NOT the place to find true love. I hope you’ve also learned that it is NOT the place to find a great dad for Ricki! Do you agree, HollywoodLifers?

Watch More ENTV Videos!

– Bonnie Fuller


More Bachelor news:

  1. Emily Maynard & Jef Holm: 9 Reasons Why Their Love Is Still Strong
  2. Emily Maynard & Jef Holm: I’m Glad Their Relationship Is Still Strong
  3. Jef Holm: ‘I’m Shocked’ By What My Brother Did

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LittleMo

Posted at 6:42 AM on October 19, 2012  

Any woman who asks to see the financial profile of the men coming on the show is looking for dollar signs, not a husband, a partner, someone to love forever. Then again, Emily IS STILL livign off of Ricky Hendricks’ parents and the fact that they can afford it has nothign to do with it. Emily was trashy to begin with – remember Ricki was born when Emily was 18, making her pregnant at 17, dating Ricky Hendricks – who was well over 21 at the time – long before that, making her a NASCAR “roadie” as a teenager. She is not the “wholesome all-American” girl some are trying to make her out to be. If Emily was worth a damn, she would have accepted help from the Hendricks’ when Ricky died, but then used the help to get an education, get a job, and pay her own way while raising her daughter. She’s teaching that little girl to hold out her hand and say “I want, I want, I want” without working for it herself. She is a horrible example and anyone who can find anything about this woman to admire is losing the cheese off their cracker. if Kalon isnt’ laughing himself sick he ought to be – and Brad Womack really did dodge a bullet.

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Marilyn Richards-Snow

Posted at 7:56 AM on October 19, 2012  

Emily’s parents are very well off according to the tabloids. Ricki is the daughter of the late Ricky so I think whatever they got in terms of dollar signs was NOT a handout. That little girl was his daughter. No different than any single Mom out there asking for child support or alimony payments. I would want to see the financial profile of the men also. Emily has a daughter to raise she doesn’t need a man to support. So yes the financial profile of these men were important, or it would have been to me. My Mom had me when she was 17. You can raise a child at 17 better than some people at 35. Maturity has nothing to do with age. None of us are trying to make her out to be perfect. Whether she has a job or an education does not make her a bad person though. I wouldn’t work if I didn’t have to. That doesn’t make me a whore, tramo, slut, golddigger, or bad mother like some of these comments that I have seen posted on here. It’s just uncalled for. I don’t know none of these people and I don’t know what Emily is like off camera. I don’t think she’s perfect but I bet she’s no different than most of us, which is not perfect either.

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Stupid Stars

Posted at 6:25 AM on October 19, 2012  

NOBODY CARES ABOUT THIS WOMAN….. NOBODY. STOP WRITING ABOUT HER LAME LIFE.

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deb

Posted at 1:27 AM on October 19, 2012  

Honestly, I haven’t watched this show since Trista and Ryan. But I think it is careless this mom to not consider the implications of her actions on her daughter. But then again, I have seen mothers make worse choices. Sad that someone needs to be told to put her child first.

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Lola

Posted at 1:15 AM on October 19, 2012  

Perhaps Emily should have asked. Jason Mesnick’s advise before even commiting to become The Bachelorette. Even though he did not pick Molly initially looking at their marriage they have succeeded where Emily failed, Also he focused on looking for a wife and kept Tye away from the drama when he was The Bachelor.

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Jessica

Posted at 9:23 PM on October 18, 2012  

Will any good come from your very harsh critical argument? Being a mother is tough enough as it is. And we are harder on ourselves than anyone else can even think to be. Mommy-guilt is tough. If she for one minute thought it wouldn’t last she wouldn’t have gotten so close. Quit judging. No one does everything right. She’s not perfect and yes that is a lot for a child to go through, but it’s how we handle trials that teach. Perservence builds character.

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Marilyn Richards-Snow

Posted at 7:38 AM on October 19, 2012  

Well said Jessica. You’re better at words than I am. I think they were both great people. I really think they were also both sincere and gave it their all.

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Marilyn Richards-Snow

Posted at 7:30 PM on October 18, 2012  

Bonnie needs to mind her own business…annoying…!!!

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ldsaecp

Posted at 4:38 PM on October 18, 2012  

I am married. Have a 15 year old daughter. If I was a widow, separated, and unwed mom planning to do date. This is what I do first. Get to know the person first to see how is goes before I let them know I have a kid or kids. Date first to see how is goes. Don’t rush to get marry. Find something in common. As for other advise when you date or bring that person when you have children. When you want them to meet your children make sure you watch them where you see them. I preferred in livingroom where you can see them. And always protect your kids. They come first.

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