Kristen Stewart: You Shattered Young Women’s Dreams

Tue, July 31, 2012 5:30pm EDT by 155 Comments
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Kristen Stewart – you didn’t just break Robert Pattinson’s heart when you cheated on him, you also let down millions of young women who admired you and aspired to have as loving and equal a relationship as the one we believed you had with Rob.

Kristen Stewart – you may not have set out to be a role model when you signed on to play Bella Swan in the five Twilight saga movies. But you sure became one, as women of all ages grew to admire you big time as they watched you grow up both on and off the screen.

Kristen- you appeared to have so much in common with awkward, insecure Bella who was a devoted, loving and loyal daughter, friend, girlfriend and then wife.

Like Bella, you didn’t appear to care in the least for expensive clothes, cars, homes or vacations – the kinds of superficial things that seem to play a huge role in the lives of most female celebrities – and real women liked that.

They loved that you appeared to stay as down-to-earth as ever,taking to the streets in LA, London or Vancouver, British Columbia in your signature Converse sneakers, skinny jeans, a sloppy T-shirt, and one of Rob‘s favorite baseball caps.

Women were thrilled that you didn’t go all Hollywood. No one ever saw you shopping for $6000 Hermes purses, getting manis or pedis, and you never spouted off about some crazy diet you were on.

No, instead like any “normal” 22-year-old, your life revolved around your work, your boyfriend and your family.

For young women focused on growing their own careers, you were an inspiration. You devoted yourself to working hard and taking on tough assignments, just like they were doing in their own fields.

In between shooting the five Twilight films, you got busy filming, The Runaways, Welcome to the Rileys, and On the Road. Then as soon as Breaking Dawn Parts I and 2 were done, you were off to shoot Snow White and the Huntsman.

Young women were proud of you because even though you had an amazing boyfriend, you didn’t let your love life get in the way of your career. You didn’t put Rob ahead of your work. No, you were an independent young woman who had your priorities in proper order. Your career could not be derailed by a demanding boyfriend who insisted that your career needed to take a backseat to his.

But that’s the thing – Rob wasn’t a self-centered demanding boyfriend at all. No, he was as respectful of your career as you were to his. He supported you every step of the way, and the two of you worked hard to not let long distance destroy your relationship.

When Rob was shooting Cosmopolis in Toronto, you jetted in and stayed with him all night on set, just so you two could be together.

When you filmed Snow White, he flew to the set in England. When Rob had his NYC premier for Remember Me, you made a surprise appearance on the red carpet to support him, and then you flew in again from California to attend his Water for Elephants premiere in NYC.

Then, there were the adorable and again super low-key dates that you and Rob went on. No one, and I repeat that again – no one would have believed that you were each worth $25, $30 and then $50 million dollars each because you lived like two money-crunched college students, dressed most of the time in vintage clothes.

You spent New Year’s Eve at a local pub on the Isle of Wight two years in a row, you were just as likely to eat in little local restaurants as LA or London’s trendy SoHo House and when you wanted to surprise Rob with a Christmas present you shopped at his favorite guitar shop – Norman’s Rare Guitar Shop, in Tarzana, California. You even took your dad, John Stewart, to help you pick out the gift.

Kristen – it was such a normal-seeming, happy life that you had on your own and with Rob, or so it seemed.

Like Bella and Edward, you two appeared to focus on real values, not surfacey Hollywood B.S.

Rob, sources told HollywoodLife.com repeatedly, was devoted to you. And even though as a couple you were intensely private, words and photos slipped out. We loved the photo of you two making out at a party in Cannes, it was delicious when you Kristen finally admitted in an interview in the November 2011 issue of British GQ that you had a British boyfriend, and then we all were thrilled to bits when we heard you whisper, “I love you” to Rob, during a press conference at the recent Comic-Con.

For millions of young women, it was awesome to have a woman they could totally relate to who so successful in both her professional and personal life.

You were certainly pretty, but you were no modelesque glamazon. You cleaned up really good for the red carpet and photo shoots but most of the time you were kind of casually thrown together like the rest of us.

But most of all, for so many young women, who can’t find a nice guy, the two of you showed young women that it was very possible to have a loving, committed and long-lasting romance, even when you were just in your twenties. Kristen, you were 22 and Rob, just 26, when it all came crashing down.

And boy did it come crashing down, last Wednesday, July 25th, when Us Weekly revealed their cover story and photos of your cheating with Snow White director, Rupert Sanders.

Millions of your fans didn’t want to believe it. They refused to accept that the photos of you in full PDA mode with Rupert Sanders were real. They hoped beyond hope that they had been photoshopped.

Only when you issued your apology later that day, did the truth sink into many of your fans.

You were not the woman of principle and substance they had believed in. You were not the relationship role model that they had wanted to emulate. You couldn’t be a personal role model either – you had been having an affair with a married man. You could have destroyed a family with two small children.

You broke Rob’s heart, and just as hurtful as that – you had publicly embarrassed and humiliated him.

Nevertheless, I’m sure you’re not a bad person. You’re simply young and you made a mistake. A big mistake. But people, especially young women, do make mistakes. And they learn from them.

However, right now that’s a small consolation to the millions of female fans who feel let down and rudderless. You were a big part of their lives for four years ever since Twilight first hit the big screen.

It’s not like there are many other inspiring young Hollywood couples to turn to for the same kind of romantic role model inspiration. Only Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez seem equally devoted but they are so young, it’s hard to believe they have the same chance of longevity as you and Rob once did.

So Kristen – as you reflect on what you did and try to understand why you did it, don’t forget that you aren’t the only one picking up the pieces. How you handle yourself in the coming days, weeks and months will also influence the young women who looked up to you.

I think at some point, being honest about having made a big mistake, will be a good move for you.

Your fans I believe are willing to hear you out and willing to have some empathy.

But you need to try and understand what a giant, special place you had in their lives, and how they are in recovery mode now too.

Bonnie Fuller

More Kristen Stewart

  1. Robert Pattinson Needs To Talk With Kristen Stewart To Get Over Breakup, Says Expert
  2. Robert Pattinson: Don’t Let Kristen Stewart’s Affair Ruin ‘Twilight’ For You
  3. Kristen Stewart Knew Robert Pattinson Wouldn’t Tolerate Cheating

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jenny

Posted at 5:05 AM on September 12, 2012  

HEY HL you need to put age ranges on your polls. So we ALL can see the demographics that are voting and how they are voting.

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Nope

Posted at 9:15 PM on August 16, 2012  

No I don’t feel let down she’s not my babysitter…..

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Thorsten

Posted at 2:18 AM on August 8, 2012  

What’s so special about her?
She is an ugly bitch. And now she even behaves like one. Makes sense for me…

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stronger

Posted at 11:05 PM on August 6, 2012  

I agree with Jenna Maier’s article which stated “…she [Kristen] apologized first before a married man with children apologized…she’s truly sorry for making a mistake, she’s handling it so maturely and so appropriately that I can’t help but like her.
She made a mistake, she accepted responsibility for her actions and now she’s working hard to make up for what she did. There’s no pretending it didn’t happen or that it didn’t have consequences. There’s no blaming other people and there’s no attempt to deflect attention to something else.
And that is what makes her a role model for young women. Especially young women who are going to enter high school, college and the real world in the coming years and need this kind of positive and realistic influence in their lives. Someone who shows them that it’s okay to make mistakes and it’s okay to make bad choices, just understand that when you do, you need to take responsibility for the consequences. And that’s one of the first practical lessons I’ve seen coming from a celebrity in a long time.”
I think Kristen can teach young women a thing or two about fending off married men, fending off bosses, including your partner in a united front to fending off married men/bosses, how trying to handle it yourself can quickly backfire, how to reestablish trust in a relationship, regardless of whether or not she gets a second chance from Rob after the ‘public kissing momentary indiscretion.’
Perhaps with a way of giving back (this or something else), Kristen won’t feel the need to sabotage herself when things are going too well.

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jenny

Posted at 5:15 AM on September 12, 2012  

@ stronger Being a 49 yo female/wife…..I have had unwanted advances in my life and having older male siblings, I learned how to deal with that kind of situation……you say NO, you mean NO, you warn them to stop. If they don’t, you defend yourself if necessary. I punched a guy in the throat once because he put his arm around my waist and wouldn’t back off…….after he caught his breath and got up off the floor….he was smart enough to get away from me and leave me alone. I live by 2 sayings…….any part of you that touches me uninvited you are NOT getting back and If you persist, I will punch you in the throat. Have not had one single problem since I matured and learned that I was worth standing up for.

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shell1961

Posted at 11:58 PM on August 5, 2012  

The act of inciting people, especially young impressionable girls, to hatred and judgement is reprehensible. Creating or spreading half-truths, invented stories, or anything (true or not) that trashes a person’s good name, especially for fame or pay cheque, is evil behaviour, and not something that we should buy into.

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Shannon S

Posted at 8:28 PM on August 5, 2012  

What an absurd article, Bonnie. Quit casting stones. She’s 22 years old and she made a mistake. Move on. Get off your high horse.

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Marleen

Posted at 4:38 AM on August 5, 2012  

What the.. first you say to Rob that he has to take her back and now you tell Kristen that she has shattered young woman dreams. I am one of those young woman who still believe in her! She’s 22 years old! She’s young and yes, she made a mistake and she hates herself for doing that you don’t need to confurm that ten thousand times. It’s her private life!! Leave. Her. Alone.

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:p lol

Posted at 9:08 PM on August 4, 2012  

im so sorry for kristen, saying “you shattered young women dreams”is a little bit mean but is sort of true, many girls are very hurted by this scandal but no other girl is more hurted ,humiliated as she is,she made a mistake a very bad mistake but she didint “shattered young woman dreams” in porppouse, actually i think that this serves as a lesson to young woman, she maked a mistake and she manage it pretty well for the circunstances, just hope they can get thru this:)

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Guest

Posted at 8:01 PM on August 2, 2012  

Extremely intelligent and well written piece. She wasn’t trapped with a demanding, self centered piece of garbage- they were- or so it was thought- in a loving, respectful, intelligent relationship in which both were equals. Why she did what she did I can’t understand, and I’m not a twihard. But they seemed like a terrific couple, and role models for young people: you don’t need to worship the dollar or be self involved and you can have each others’ backs. I really hope that they can somehow make it through this and come out stronger. The love seems sweet.

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liz

Posted at 9:17 AM on August 2, 2012  

I am more disgusted by the fact that you were living so vicariously through a 22 year old hipster hollywood brat’s life. Her career was orchestrated by her Hollywood mom, the paps photographed her getting high on her front porch long before she was Bella & she cheated on her Michael Angarano to be with Rob. She was NEVER going to be the woman you just described. The real tragedy is how pathetic people who cannot understand that actors are not their roles allow themselves to pay more attention to this crap than to their own lives.

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ElizabethAnn625

Posted at 5:57 PM on August 2, 2012  

Totally agree.

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July

Posted at 7:25 AM on August 2, 2012  

I wish Kristen is tough enough to get through this. I wish all the best for her.I LOVE KRISTEN …

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Lulu

Posted at 2:43 AM on August 2, 2012  

It’s Relatively easy to dump someone and it sure takes an exceptional strength of character to forgive and work things out.. They are young and still figuring themselves out.. I hope they rise to the challenge and work it out .. There relationship could actually grow stronger and the wise always forgive.. Life is too short for ego and hatred

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Lee

Posted at 12:58 AM on August 2, 2012  

Not only in Hollywood but also in our Asian countries too… I always heard such news everyday.

I am 23.I was also cheated by my fiance too.But when he begged for me, I forgave him because I love him so much that I can ignore his mistakes and I knew that he loves me too.He deserved to get another chance.
Some friends told me I’m a fool.But they don’t understand what a true love is.Even if he cheated me again, I would do the same.

I’m sure all girls in Hollywood are not as good as Kris.At least she’s brave enough to admit that she’s wrong.She didn’t lie.People always make mistake and they learn from it.I hope Robsten can figure the whole thing out soon.
I STILL LOVE HER SO MUCH.
I love Rob too.I can understand his feeling.But he’s not a poor guy.I’ve heard about him hanging out with other girls too and he’s fortunate not to be caught by paparazzi.

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Meh_08

Posted at 1:21 AM on August 2, 2012  

It’s different if it’s a girl who is doing it.

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Anne

Posted at 11:06 PM on August 1, 2012  

Kristen did nothing to Bonnie and your fellow haters ..
I’m sure you all want to destroy Kristen’s life.!
This is Hollywood ..I always heard about such news.
What about Jolie.?She had done such things all the time till she found Brad.

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kwon

Posted at 10:56 PM on August 1, 2012  

yeah I like her unique style,and her pure beauty ..Whether she cheated or not, I love Ms.Stewart …Keep going Kristen

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Xara

Posted at 11:08 PM on August 1, 2012  

Loving Kristen even more now. So human and vulnerable.

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Cali

Posted at 10:50 PM on August 1, 2012  

I’m waiting for your next movies.I’m always amazed by your characters.I’m always like “Wow I love her,she’s so unique,different from other young actresses.I love Kristen Stewart ..
Don’t give up Kristen,
I love you so much

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