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'Bridalplasty' Recap — Allyson Wins It All & We Say Farewell To World's Most Horrible Person Jenessa!

Sun, January 30, 2011 10:09pm EDT by 19 Comments

Allyson, one of the few actual decent human beings on this trainwreck of a show wins it all! Horray?

After a lifetime of lows including unemployment, money problems and two cancelled weddings the seemingly genuine Allyson was crowned the winner of Bridalplasty. Whether this is a new high or yet another low in this young woman’s life is up for debate.

Allyson and her weaselly foe Jenessa had to plead their cases for why they should have the perfect wedding in front of a group of eight former contestants. The girls, looking kind of like the sisters in The Fighter but with more make-up and pomade, all seemed to still be holding grudges towards Jenessa who screwed them all over at some point this season. Whoopsies J!

Perhaps the greatest moment came when Alexandra, in giving Allyson the winning vote, screamed at Jenessa: “Karma is a b**ch and so are you.” Whatever underpaid P.A. or intern on set who came up with that line deserves a raise.

After being handed the world’s ugliest bouquet to symbolize her win (congratulations?), it was off to the gym and plastic surgeon’s office for Allyson. She lifted weights! She rolled around on balls! She said she was tired!

Then she had lots and lots of lipo and talked about how hard she had worked to get where she is. This was puzzling as she had simply had most of her fat removed but hey, good for you Ally.

On another note can we please discuss Dr. Debrow’s operating room behavior? I mean, I don’t think repeated fist bumps is the kind of thing I yearn to see any plastic surgeon doing MID-OPERATION! But I digress…

From there it was off to the wedding so her fiance could see her, likely first wondering who the woman walking down the aisle towards him was, and then marry her! The dude actually seemed pretty cool however. Way to land a winner Allyson!

Not so winning however was the standing ovation she received when she revealed her new face. I mean, be happy guys but extended clapping kind of sends the message that the poor woman was a wildebeest before these procedures. Which she wasn’t so much, though losing 35 pounds was great.

Shanna Moakler also chimed in to express how proud she was of Allyson, all the while wearing a poncho to the wedding ceremony. Yes, the woman who spent a season wearing evening gowns to afternoon meetings apparently just throws on loose cloth for actual formal ceremonies.

Then it was done. No where are they now. Tears. Sad. I am hoping season 2 is all grooms.