'Sister Wives' Star Kody Brown Is Narcissistic & Hurting His Kids, Says Expert & Former Polygamist!

Wed, September 29, 2010 1:00pm EST by 12 Comments
Courtesy of TLC

Courtesy of TLC

On TLC’s Sister Wives, the Brown family appears to be a happy, functioning example of polygamy — but our expert explains the real dangers of a polygamous lifestyle!

If you’re like most people, you probably don’t know a ton about polygamy; you might even think it’s legal in some states. After watching the Sept. 26 season premiere of TLC’s new reality show, Sister Wives, I was shocked to see four happy women living under one roof, sharing one man [Kody Brown], with seemingly little problems. Wondering if this wasn’t the most accurate representation of life in a polygamist family, I decided to do some digging.

I tracked down former polygamist John Llewellyn, 77, who currently resides in Utah. Once a Salt Lake County Sheriff’s Lieutenant who primarily investigated polygamist cults, John actually adopted the lifestyle and practiced polygamy for 25 years.

“In 1994 all of my wives left me except for one,” John reveals. “I’m now married monogamously and I can tell you life is a lot more smooth. It’s not easy being married to more than one woman, especially if they’ve got any spunk or spirit to them. You’re constantly having to reassure them that they are loved.”

TLC’s Sister Wives — a seven part series which follows the lives of Kody Brown’s wives Meri 39, Janielle, 40, Christine, 37, and Robyn, 31 — sends the message that polygamy has no downfalls. John Llewellyn disagrees.

“It’s a hard life to live, I’d say you’re better off having a mistress than plural wives,” John says. “There isn’t a plural family that didn’t have a lot of internal domestic problems; jealousy is a huge factor. It’s all about power, money, sex and ego. A man wouldn’t be normal if his ego wasn’t inflated by having multiple wives. A lot of polygamist men are narcissists and that’s what appears to be Kody’s motivation.”

Many polygamy advocates claim the lifestyle is harmless because the women involved are essentially willing mistresses — but the US Supreme Court states polygamy is illegal in all states and has been since 1878. Fortunately for Kody, the state of Utah rarely prosecutes polygamists unless there is proof of active child endangerment or abuse, but they are investigating the Brown family.

“Historically there have been two cases where polygamists were convicted in the past 10 years,” John says. “The law kind of looks at the women as victims and they haven’t been prosecuted … but they could be.”

New York family attorney Vikki Ziegler agrees with John in regards to Utah’s lack of motivation to prosecute these families.

“Polygamy is rarely prosecuted unless children are being harmed, but clearly polygamy is a crime and it’s being exploited,” Vikki argues. “It’s a risky move for TLC to air this show knowing he is committing a crime, because the US Supreme court sees it as a crime.”

The Brown family released a statement, defending their decision to put their life on display, despite its illegality.

“We are disappointed in the announcement of an investigation,” the Brown family said. “But when we decided to do this show, we knew there would be risks. But for the sake of our family, and most importantly, our kids, we felt it was a risk worth taking.”

Once again, John Llewellyn disagrees.

“It’s a bad idea for Cody to subject his family to all of this pressure and notoriety,” he says. “Most polygamists frown upon what he is doing … the thoughts of people in Utah are mixed. He needs to know this will be the toughest on his children.”

— Chloe Melas

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Posted at 8:11 PM on January 3, 2013  

This guy married a woman. He should have been satisfied with none or one child. NO ONE should have more than one child until global population drops below 3 billion. These people sicken me.

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Posted at 2:06 PM on March 14, 2011  

Here is the bottom line about polygamy:

If someone thinks that standing on their head and wistling will get them higher in Heaven, and nobody is getting hurt…let them do it.

If someone thinks that running around a room for three minutes a day, seven days a week will get think higher in Heaven, let them do it.

If someone thinks that picking your nose and flinging the booger will get them higher in a level of Heaven, let them do it!!

If someone has a FAITH based reason (and even not, look at homosexuals) to live an alternitive lifestyle, and nobody else is getting hurt… let them do it.

For crying out loud, we live in America. I understand, and I respect those with different value systems and their religious views. I love having friends who are Christian, Muslim, Jewish, etc… It makes for a better and more well-rounded world.

Love is love. Just because we don’t understand something, or that we know without a shadow of a doubt they are wrong theologically, or we would never share our husband… who cares? We have a right to believe and feel and vaule what we want too. But, others who are different deserve likewise.

If polygamy was legal, as it should be (they are all adults) then people would be more open to be who they are, and love who they want too. In return, people would come out of hiding, and the authorites could track down those who oppress women and marry off young girls. They would be able to get down to the REAL business and crime of it all. Remember, people make sterotypes. Not all Fundamentalist Mormon men marry young girls, like not all Roman Catholic Priests molest young boys.

Just remember, years ago… homosexuality was frowned upon just as much as polygamist marriages are today. Let’s give each other a chance to be happy. Mind our own business, and remember if you are against a lifestyle, it is between them and God. Focus on you and your family. Have opinions, yes. But realize that we have seperation of church and state. The gov’t cannot be lukewarm. Things should only be against the law when it’ll harm someone else. If those in alternitive marriages/relationships are willing adults, and all their children are being cared for properly, it’s not our business.

As far as our opinions go with Kody letting his family go on T.V…. again, that’s his choice. If all of this wives agree’d, let’s let them have the marital and parital say in what they do together.

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Jancis M.Andrews

Posted at 7:56 PM on March 11, 2011  

Don’t these silly women realize they are nothing more than concubines in Kody the Copulator’s harem, and that except for the one and only legal first wife, they have no legal rights? They had better get themselves a lawyer mighty quick! The three concubines and their children cannot share in Kody’s life insurance, health insurance, dental insurance, or pensions, and face poverty. They had also better make sure that Kody has treated them all equally in his will. Why a woman should feel she cannot manage a household unless she has 3 other women to help her is pathetic. And do they really think they only deserve having 25% of a man, not 100% of a man? Doesn’t it humiliate them to have to line up for his sexual attentions as if they are cows waiting to be serviced by a bull? They sound as if they have no faith at all in their own capabilities. As for Kody — tell me, ladies, does he ever help with the washing up or do the vacuuming, or do you, his four built-in housemaids, do it all? Wake up and smell the coffee!

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Posted at 5:21 PM on March 11, 2011  

Risks? They “weighed” the risks? Insert money for risks

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Posted at 4:00 AM on October 11, 2010  

“In 1994 all of my wives left me except for one,” John reveals. “I’m now married monogamously and I can tell you life is a lot more smooth……….“It’s a hard life to live, I’d say you’re better off having a mistress than plural wives,”

Wow! Way to pick the experts. This guy’s a real weiner! It sounds like he’s already experienced the adulterous experience of a mistress, judging by his vernacular. Anyone who has experienced the pain of infidelity would never even utter someone is better off having the experience…not to mention infidelity is cloaked in dishonesty. In that way, this featured family is above board and honest, 5 adults doing of their free will. Nor are they really breaking any laws, since only the 1st wife, Meri, is an actual wife, the others are “wives”.

Is Kody a narcissist? Maybe he’s just a happy nice guy with a large sense of responsibility. I’m inclined to believe closer to the latter than the prior, if nothing else, based upon his lack of the slick words that pass upon the tongue of the classic narcissist. Witness his awkwardness in talking to Meri during their 20th anniversary dinner. Maybe the expert in this piece is actually describing himself.

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Posted at 1:30 PM on October 5, 2010  

I think Meri should divorce Cody and get some intensive psychiatric therapy for herself and her daughter. Watching her on tv and hearing the things she says makes me feel sad and sick.

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Posted at 10:05 PM on January 29, 2012  


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Posted at 1:47 PM on September 29, 2010  

The only one who benefits in plural marriage are the wives, men are the ones in most circumstances being given the bad part of the deal.

I mean imagine having to support the sex and personal life of 4 or 5 women, and having to hear them complain and you having to deal with it, because are else you can wind up with one wife going to the police.

On the other hand, the women have a man in their life, but that man is around much less, meaning they have more free-time for themselves, and control their life more-so than a monogamous wife who is being surveild by her husband 24/7. On top of that, the women themselves never have to hear the nagging because one one wife is doing the nagging and spending time with the husband, the next another one is.

If anything polygamy is cruel and unusual punishment against men, it’s a systematic exploitation of men by women who use the guy for sex, support, and the help of other women to baby-sit their children.

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Posted at 12:43 PM on September 29, 2010  

Who am I to say that these women are unhappy? I can see real benefits to having the support of three other women in the household. Maybe having their husband around exclusively just for them is NOT what they want. Who’s to say?

I’m sure there are many “open” marriages where one or both partners has someone on the side. Is it right for ME to decide if they should be doing that? Nope, but I don’t get to decide how other people should live.

I’m sure there are many, many, many marriages where there is no REAL relationship at all, but people stay in it for convenience, or money, or whatever their reasons are. It’s not something that *I* would do, but it’s not for me to tell someone else how they should be living.

These are grown women and men. We shouldn’t be legislating what adults can and cannot do. And before you judge, maybe you should take a step back and ask yourself if you REALLY thinks it’s other people’s place to tell YOU how to live?

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Posted at 11:47 PM on September 28, 2010  

I don’t care what these women say…you cannot seriously tell me that they don’t feel terrible knowing that somewhere in the same house they are sleeping in, their husband is having sex with other women!!! I found it sad for Meri to say that she was having to ‘work on’ her feelings of jealousy. WHAT?? That is your husband…it is natural to feel jealous if he is sleeping with other women!! Wake up and get away from that ego driven idiot!

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Posted at 5:31 PM on September 28, 2010  

I watched the show Sunday night, I thought it was good! :)

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Posted at 5:22 PM on September 28, 2010  

The fact that polygamy exists just blows my mind

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