Bye, Bye, Bella! The Next Time You See Kristen Stewart, She’ll Be A Promiscuous Blonde Hippie!

Thu, July 22, 2010 2:44pm EST by 10 Comments

Twilight star Kristen Stewart is virtually unrecognizable as man-eating Marylou Moriarty in the big screen version of Jack Kerouac’s novel, On the Road.

You might just be crying in despair the next time you see Kristen Stewart – her newest character is NOTHING like your beloved Bella Swan!

The 20-year-old starlet will leave Twilight behind to play Marylou Moriarty, the slutty young wife of arty wanderer Dean Moriarty (Tron: Legacy’s Garrett Hedlund) in the film adaptation of Jack Kerouac’s iconic Beat Generation novel, On the Road. But what can you expect to see from Kristen, who’s shooting the flick for two months beginning August 2 in Toronto before heading to New Orleans and Mexico? Read on, BFFs!

She sleeps around! Marylou bumps uglies with both Dean and his best friend, Sal (British actor Sam Reilly), has car sex with Dean while Sal sleeps AND gets it on with at least nine sailors!

She says ‘I do’ – TWICE! Marylou marries Dean, divorces him and then gets hitched to a…car salesman. Trading up baby, trading up.

She’s got blond ambition! Buh-bye brunette beauty – Kristen has returned to her strawberry blond roots (believe it or not) to play Marylou!

She’s FINALLY get to dress like, well, Kristen Stewart! “Beatnik” is just an old-fashioned word for “hipster’, which is just K-Stew’s style! Think striped shirts, oversized sweaters, cowl-collared tops, slim-fit pants or pencil skirts, skinny Capri pants and eastern religious-symbol jewelry. However, female “beatniks” are a bit more feminine than the tomboyish starlet – so she might not TOTALLY love her new look.

K-Stew will struggle to be smoking hot! Literally. Beatniks roll their own cigarettes, and we all know how much Robert Pattinson’s lady love likes a good ciggie!

She wants to hold your hand! We know how Kristen loves her indie bands, but if she really wants to get into her character, she’s going to need to embrace Beat bands like Bob Dylan, Pink Floyd and, of course, The Beatles.

But not to worry, HollywoodLifers. You’ll still see SOME of K-Stew in Marylou. The Beat Generation were known for their spontaneous creativity and non-conformity. Sounds like our girl!

Laura Schreffler


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Posted at 9:18 PM on July 26, 2010  

She is beautiful with lighter hair. On the Road is a classic, and she will do MaryLou justice.

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Posted at 1:19 AM on July 25, 2010  

sounds like the role was written for her. lol

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Posted at 10:44 PM on July 24, 2010  


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Posted at 5:27 PM on July 23, 2010  

I am not looking forward to hollywoods version of Jack Kerouacs novel” ON THE ROAD”. The screen writer is good but this book is about an american phenomenon. i think the screen writer should be an american to get the vibe of what was going on at that time in the american phychi. it is not about the hippi’s. the BEAT generation was pre hippi and different. no pink floyd, no bob dylan, and no beetles. it was mainly an intellectual movement, lots of alcohol and some drugs. promiscuity was not an issue( kerouac was married as were his buddies.) kerouac was also a closet homosexual. he could not come out because he was catholic and society did not approve of that lifestyle at the time. the 1950’s in the usa was all about conforming.” keeping up with the jones’s” Sticking to the rules. Kerouac and friends( ginsberg and other writers,painters,musicians et all, were rebelling against this. and questioning the american dream . i think stewart is too young and inexperienced to play a 30 year old. nor does she have the acting ability. she is limited and has no depth. the two male leads and k. dunst possibly could pull it off, they have the talent. it’s up to the director and what he sees through jack kerouac’s eyes.if they get it right then it will be a first for hollywood. i should say . if they get it right no one will go see the movie, except those who lived and understood those times. if they get it wrong then they will have manipulated the whole point of the book. young people will not get the origional jist of kerouacs book. my point the movie will suck one way or the other. art film? or blockbuster?

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Posted at 1:40 AM on July 23, 2010  

Kristen will gonna rock this! The girl with the dragon tattoo… What??

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Posted at 10:42 PM on July 22, 2010  

Really who write this!! a so call journalist, should first get the simple facts straight like they’re filming in Montreal not Toronto. And if they’re going to talk abt a book that (for what I read) defines and entire generation the Beat Genaration they should at least read the timeline of the book of something, this book was written in the late 40’s going on 50’s so the music reference is WRONG!! the music was known as Be Bop, jazz that style it’s on the book, and one thing beatnik it’s not Hippie, yes the hippies had Beatnik influences but it’s not the same, mm and I’m not even American and I know this!

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Posted at 8:45 PM on July 22, 2010  

Beat music has nothing to do with the Beat Generation. This book/movie takes place in the fifties, Beat music started in the sixties. And Pink Floyd was not a Beat band.

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Posted at 8:40 PM on July 22, 2010  

Pink Floyd as a Beat band?? LOL, okay…

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Posted at 5:02 PM on July 22, 2010  

She will do fine in this film, just like Welcome to the Rileys.

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Posted at 3:49 PM on July 22, 2010  

kristen and garrett , sam hot, movie

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