Bye, Bye, Bella! The Next Time You See Kristen Stewart, She’ll Be A Promiscuous Blonde Hippie!

Thu, July 22, 2010 2:44pm EST by 10 Comments

Twilight star Kristen Stewart is virtually unrecognizable as man-eating Marylou Moriarty in the big screen version of Jack Kerouac’s novel, On the Road.

You might just be crying in despair the next time you see Kristen Stewart – her newest character is NOTHING like your beloved Bella Swan!

The 20-year-old starlet will leave Twilight behind to play Marylou Moriarty, the slutty young wife of arty wanderer Dean Moriarty (Tron: Legacy’s Garrett Hedlund) in the film adaptation of Jack Kerouac’s iconic Beat Generation novel, On the Road. But what can you expect to see from Kristen, who’s shooting the flick for two months beginning August 2 in Toronto before heading to New Orleans and Mexico? Read on, BFFs!

She sleeps around! Marylou bumps uglies with both Dean and his best friend, Sal (British actor Sam Reilly), has car sex with Dean while Sal sleeps AND gets it on with at least nine sailors!

She says ‘I do’ – TWICE! Marylou marries Dean, divorces him and then gets hitched to a…car salesman. Trading up baby, trading up.

She’s got blond ambition! Buh-bye brunette beauty – Kristen has returned to her strawberry blond roots (believe it or not) to play Marylou!

She’s FINALLY get to dress like, well, Kristen Stewart! “Beatnik” is just an old-fashioned word for “hipster’, which is just K-Stew’s style! Think striped shirts, oversized sweaters, cowl-collared tops, slim-fit pants or pencil skirts, skinny Capri pants and eastern religious-symbol jewelry. However, female “beatniks” are a bit more feminine than the tomboyish starlet – so she might not TOTALLY love her new look.

K-Stew will struggle to be smoking hot! Literally. Beatniks roll their own cigarettes, and we all know how much Robert Pattinson’s lady love likes a good ciggie!

She wants to hold your hand! We know how Kristen loves her indie bands, but if she really wants to get into her character, she’s going to need to embrace Beat bands like Bob Dylan, Pink Floyd and, of course, The Beatles.

But not to worry, HollywoodLifers. You’ll still see SOME of K-Stew in Marylou. The Beat Generation were known for their spontaneous creativity and non-conformity. Sounds like our girl!

Laura Schreffler


Follow on Twitter | Become a Facebook fan