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One of the most heartbreaking stories in Pamela Anderson’s new memoir, Love, Pamela, involves how the Baywatch star lost her virginity when she was barely a teenager. Pamela recalls not being a “girly girl” at that time, but says she had a friend who wanted to make her look “older” with makeup so they could go hang out with her older male friend. “He was maybe 20,” Pamela writes. “I was much too young to be there — we were only 12, 13? Trying so hard to be grown up.”
Pamela reveals that she and her friend were picked up by the older male, despite how young she looked, even with makeup. “I wouldn’t have passed for 13,” she admits. “I was barely, if even, a teenager.” When they got to the man’s house, Pamela says her friend went upstairs with him, leaving her with his roommate. “He wanted to give me a back rub,” Pamela reveals. “Then he forced himself on me. It wasn’t hard to get me out of the tube top I was wearing. And no matter how hard I tried to fight him off, he was also able to get my shorts down.”
The now 55-year-old recalls the man “piercing [her] body” as she tried to search for her necklace that had fallen off. “I screamed with pain and called out for my friend, wanting to leave,” she says. “I couldn’t see, I couldn’t breathe, I was blinded by pain. I ran and locked myself in the bathroom to inspect what had happened to me — there was blood and other stuff. I felt sick as I cleaned myself up, trying to get it together.” Pamela confirms that she was “no longer a virgin” after that night and says she was “forced, against [her] will” into having sex with the unnamed gentleman.
“I didn’t tell anybody,” she writes. “I was in shock, falling apart, molecules, dust, liquid, my life evaporating.” She says she was “ashamed” by what happened, as well. “It hurt me a lot, keeping this secret,” Pamela admits. “It was so confusing and I didn’t know who to go to. I knew I shouldn’t have been there, and I didn’t want to get anyone in trouble. I started to trust the people around me even less. Eventually, I just blocked it out.”
Although Pamela didn’t reveal any details about her rapist, she previously opened up about the experience during a 2014 speech in Cannes. At the time, she revealed that the man was 25 years old — 13 years her senior. You can buy Pamela,’s new book, Love, Pamela, here.