Mismatched libidos and parenthood — it’s a tale as old as time, but a relatively new reality that Tanner Tolbert, 32, is facing. While the Bachelor in Paradise star is interested in having more sex with Jade Roper, 32, his wife “wants it less” after becoming a mother of two. This revelation came on the Aug. 28 episode of Nick Viall’s podcast, The Viall Files, on which Tanner revealed how his and Jade’s sex life has changed since welcoming their second child, son Brooks Easton, on July 30.
“And now [Brook’s] here and we have two kids. It is tough. I feel like I’ve begged for it,” Tanner confessed on the podcast. But the ABC star wants Jade to be just as excited about sexy time. “And I don’t want to feel selfish — I hate asking, I hate trying, ’cause I don’t want it to be pity sex,” he clarified. But this isn’t a new problem. Tanner claimed that his and Jade’s four-year relationship “completely changed” after baby No. 1, daughter Emerson “Emmy” Avery, arrived in Aug. 2017.
“It took a dive [after Jade began nursing Emmy] and then pretty much right after the breastfeeding stopped, we got pregnant again with Brooks. And now he’s here and we have two kids. It is tough,” Tanner said during the podcast. While admitting to feeling like he’s on “the back burner,” the father of two acknowledged that Jade’s focus should be “on the kids, not me.” Brownie points for Tanner.
The new dad shouldn’t feel too down in the dumps, because it’s actually normal to wait a month (or two!) to wait until having sex again. That’s not our opinion — it’s doctors’! Vaginal tears are common during birth, and “those tears take 4 to 6 weeks to heal completely, and the suture that we use in the vagina to repair that takes some time to dissolve,” Dr. Shree Chanchani from NYU Langone Health told The Cut. Keep in mind, it wasn’t too long ago when Jade accidentally gave birth to their second baby in a closet!