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March 30, 2019 11:42AM EDT

Diddy Regrets Not Marrying Kim Porter In Post 4 Months After Her Death: ‘I’m Ready’ But It’s ‘Too Late’

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Kim Porter
Kenny 'The Jet' Smith's annual All-Star Bash, Arrivals, Los Angeles, USA - 16 Feb 2018
Los Angeles, CA  - *EXCLUSIVE*  - Sean Combs hosted a memorial gathering in memory of his ex-girlfriend Kim Porter where he was surrounded by friends and family after her sudden passing. The music mogul posted a tribute to the mother of his children who passed away suddenly this past week saying, "For the last three days I've been trying to wake up out of this nightmare. But I haven't. I don't know what I'm going to do without you baby. I miss you so much. Today I'm going to pay tribute to you, I'm going to try and find the words to explain our unexplainable relationship. We were more than best friends, we were more than soulmates. WE WERE SOME OTHER S--T!! And I miss you so much. Super Black Love.''

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Erin Silvia
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Diddy responded to a fan on Mar. 30 and admitted he wasn’t ready to marry his late ex Kim Porter during the time they were dating, but wishes he could do it now, after her death.

Diddy, 49, has been open about his heartbreaking grief over his late ex Kim Porter ever since her death, and now he’s revealing how he wishes he made a lifelong commitment to her when she was alive. The rapper took to Instagram on Mar. 30 to post a cozy picture of him posing with Kim in front of a car with a sweet caption, and after a fan commented and asked why he didn’t marry her, Diddy wasn’t afraid to admit his regrets.

“And You Never Married her Whyyyyyyyyyy???? Yes I said it…..you fake….My opinion,” the fan’s comment read. It didn’t take long for Diddy to give his honest response. “never fake,” he wrote. “I wasn’t ready and that’s it. I’m ready now but it’s to [sic] late Don’t be like me.”

This isn’t the first time Diddy spoke out about his feelings regarding his relationship with Kim. In another response to a fan on Mar. 3, he admitted he “played” himself by not marrying her. Kim, who is the mother of Diddy’s son, Christian, 20, and twin daughters D’Lila Star and Jessie James, 12, tragically passed away of pneumonia at the age of 47 on Nov. 15, and since then, Diddy’s posted several photos of special moments he shared with her as well as messages about those moments, on social media, as a tribute to his former love.  In his latest pic, Diddy revealed it was from the first time he called Kim his.

View this post on Instagram

💞 #CommentsByCelebs

A post shared by Comments By Celebs (@commentsbycelebs) on Mar 30, 2019 at 6:52am PDT

“I remember Kim flying to see me on the set of can’t nobody hold me down. She took like a 12 hour flight to LA and 3 hour ride to the desert. With no complaints,” he wrote, in the caption for the pic. “Was always ride or die. From day 1! I called her BONNIE AND I WAS CLYDE! This picture will go down in history as the first time I said she was MINE!!!! AND THE FIRST TIME I TOLD HER I LOVE HER, little did I know I was hers. Miss you BONNIE ❤️ and will forever. Maaaaan life is beautiful to have had these experiences. Love you baby. @ladykp 🖤”

Kim and Diddy dated for ten years before calling it quits in 2007.

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