With a season of ‘The Bachelorette’, as well as ‘Bachelor in Paradise’ already under his belt, I was expecting a pretty superficial approach to Colton’s new search for a wife, but the former NFL star has been, Thank-the-Lord, unpredictable.
New season, new beefy hunk. New topless opportunities and new shower scene. The Bachelor, now in its 23rd season, has definitely learned what works for its devoted fans. And every time a new gimmick is introduced that is a hit — girl in a shark suit — the show is all in on a repeat — this year, girl in a sloth suit. What’s also worked for The Bachelor are former pro athletes, and Colton Underwood played as a linebacker for the San Diego Chargers, and he’s kept up that beefy, muscled physique.
But where he’s far different than most pro athletes is that Underwood never took advantage of the groupies that flock around them and he has retained his virginity at least, up until starring in this show. The result that it’s ‘Colton’s Virginity’ that is the star of the show so far. It’s what every single one of his bachelorettes are wondering and talking about. It’s what he had to talk about in episode 2, in front of a group date, when he set up a ‘storytelling’ for himself and his girls, in an actual theater.
He and the producers clearly had decided that they wanted to add the ‘would Colton lose his virginity’ drama to the season along with ‘would Colton find a wife.’ Colton decides that the best way to get his group dates to begin confessing intimate details about themselves, would be far him to tell the story about his confession to his Chargers teammates, that he was a virgin. The surprise of course, was how understanding these ‘he-men’ were. “Wow, man, that’s really cool,” was the first comment he received after his nervous confession.
The reaction was a giant relief of a surprise to Colton, and now I have to say that Colton has thankfully been a surprise to me, and I’m hoping to other fans as well. First of all, he’s turned out to be far more gracious and charming with his bachelorettes than I ever expected. He looked genuinely thrilled to meet every single one of his ladies during the lengthly first night ‘meet and greets’ and cocktail party.
Since then, he has appeared to be thoroughly sincere and patient, about having real ‘get to know you’ conversations with the women falling all over him for attention. This was painfully clear on what was a very painful to watch, long first ‘one on one date’ with the shockingly inarticulate Hannah B. And you can imagine that if it was this hard for us to view the edited version, how awkward was the full length real life experience.
I have to commend Colton for trying extremely hard to get Hannah B. to open up about herself and have ANY conversation at all. You could see why he wanted to– she is very pretty and has a winning smile, but that’s all she had for most of the date. No matter what Colton said, all she could do in response was give him a big smile and giggle.
Now, looking very blonde and pretty and not saying much of anything at all, was all that was necessary for Arie Luyendyk Jr to fall in love with Lauren Burnham, but Colton, commendably wanted more. He genuinely wanted to get to know Hannah B better so he could make an informed decision about whether they had a potential future together. Lucky for her, she finally go her act together enough at dinner to at least ask him why he was still a virgin, so they were able to have an actual conversation, and he gave her a rose.
How someone who actually won Miss Alabama and competed in Miss USA could be so tongue tied, I don’t know, but I have to say that Colton treated her very respectfully. He also displayed some mensch-like behavior when he didn’t do the obvious and immediately go in for a kiss with ‘Miss Virgin – Who’s – Also – Never – Been – Kissed,’ Heather. it would have been so easy for him to have crossed that line right away, and it would have made for some easy TV drama to kick off the show, but he didn’t go there. So kudos for Colton.
Let’s also remember that Colton is just 26, as well as a virgin, so he’s young to be so serious about looking for a wife. So far, two episodes in, he’s handling the pressure of being The Bachelor for more commendably than I ever would have expected after his Becca and Tia entanglements.
And you know what, he’s also just so damn likable. Arie never roped me into his spell. But Colton is doing it.
Is he doing it for you? Let me know.