While talking about the inspiration behind her album’s name ‘Cry Pretty,’ Carrie Underwood revealed that she suffered three miscarriages before her current pregnancy.
Carrie Underwood announced her pregnancy in August, but she just revealed that she’s currently expecting a rainbow baby. The country singer opened up about her fertility struggles in an interview with CBS News, saying she has had three miscarriages since the beginning of 2017. “I’d kind of planned that 2017 was, you know, going to be the year that I work on new music, and I have a baby. We got pregnant early 2017, and didn’t work out,” she said, while discussing how her experiences inspired her album name, Cry Pretty.
Carrie revealed that she and husband Mike Fisher relied on their faith during the difficult process. “In the beginning it was like, ‘Okay, God, we know this is, just wasn’t Your timing. And that is all right. We will bounce back and figure our way through it.'” she recalled, adding that her frustrations grew as she suffered another miscarriage in 2017 and a third in early 2018. “At that point, it was just kind of like, ‘Okay, like, what’s the deal? What is all of this?'”
The “Before He Cheats” hitmaker confessed that she “had always been afraid to be angry” over each heartbreaking loss. “Because we are so blessed. And my son, Isaiah, is the sweetest thing. And he’s the best thing in the world. And I’m like, ‘If we can never have any other kids, that’s okay, because he’s amazing,” Carrie said. “And I have this amazing life. Like, really, what can I complain about? I can’t. I have an incredible husband, incredible friends, an incredible job, an incredible kid. Can I be mad? No.”
But when she thought she was suffering a fourth miscarriage earlier this year, Carrie admitted to CBS News’ Tracy Smith that she “got mad.” On one emotional night, her husband was away so she cuddled up to her sleeping son and thought, “‘Why on Earth do I keep getting pregnant if I can’t have a kid? Like, what is this? Shut the door. Like, do something. Either shut the door or let me have a kid.'”
“And for the first time, I feel like I actually I told God how I felt,” she added. “That was like a Saturday – and the Monday I went to the doctor to, like, confirm, another miscarriage. And they told me everything was great!”
Carrie also noted in the interview that she would immediately start writing new music following each loss. “I’d be like, ‘Let’s go. You know, I can’t just sit around thinking about this. Like, I wanna work, I wanna do this,'” she explained. “‘Cause I would literally have these horrible things going on in my life, and then have to go smile and, like, do some interviews or, like, do a photo shoot or something, you know? So it was just kind of, like, therapeutic, I guess.”
The 7-time Grammy winner will be headed on tour in May 2018, hopefully with her new baby in tow, she told the outlet. Her album, which dropped on Sept. 14, features many songs that “came from that, you know, or I connect with in a totally different way because of those experiences that we went through,” she said. “And they were hard. And it sucked so much! But things are looking better.”