Johnny Depp Reveals How He Felt After Amber Heard Accused Him Of Abuse: I Couldn’t Take The Pain

It’s been two years since Amber Heard accused Johnny Depp of abuse, and the actor is finally speaking out about it. Johnny said in a new interview that he went to a dark place. We have more details.

“So are you here to hear the truth?”, Johnny Depp begins his interview with our sister site, Rolling Stone. “It’s full of betrayal.” The sprawling interview, which took place over three days at his London mansion, tackled everything from his significant financial problems, his damaged family relationships, and the big elephant in the room — his 2016 divorce from actress Amber Heard. Amber publicly accused Johnny of physical abuse, including allegedly dragging her by her hair, punching her in the face, and in one alleged incident, allegedly beating her so hard that she woke up with her pillow soaked in blood. Johnny’s vehemently denied all of Amber’s claims, but now he’s speaking out about what he personally went through during and after the incident.

“I was as low as I believe I could have gotten,” Johnny said. “The next step was, ‘You’re going to arrive somewhere with your eyes open and you’re going to leave there with your eyes closed.’ I couldn’t take the pain every day.” To cope with his acute depression, Johnny said that he set out to write a memoir on a typewriter, just like his hero, author Hunter S. Thompson. “I poured myself a vodka in the morning and started writing until the tears filled my eyes and I couldn’t see the page anymore. I kept trying to figure out what I’d done to deserve this,” he said. “I’d tried being kind to everyone, helping everyone, being truthful to everyone…The truth is most important to me. And all this still happened.”

Johnny and Amber eventually divorced in 2016, and she won a $7 million settlement. They did not have a prenup. Amber donated all of the money to a domestic abuse charity.