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Interview
May 6, 2018 1:29PM EDT

Kesha Bravely Opens Up About Eating Disorder In Emotional Interview: ‘I Hated Myself’

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Courteney Larocca
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Kesha just got really honest about an eating disorder and her ongoing legal battle with Dr. Luke in an emotional interview. Here’s what she had to say.

Kesha, 31, knows that in order to be happy, you need to care for yourself. In a raw For The Record interview, the singer opened up to Anthony Mason about seeking treatment for an eating disorder in Jan. 2014. , “I just, like, hated myself so much. I had so much sadness. I was projecting [a] person that promotes self-love. And I was doing none of that for myself,” she said about her decision to admit herself to Timberline Knolls, a clinic outside Chicago. When asked if she had to be persuaded into checking into the clinic, she said: “No, I was the one that was like, ‘OK, I have to.'”

Kesha spent two months in treatment, where she fought to get back to being happy. “I was in such a dark hole of a place,” she added. “And the song, ‘Rainbow, ‘ I kind of wrote as, like, a letter to myself, to like, ‘You can get it back.'”

While she couldn’t comment on her legal battle with Dr. Luke, she did say that, “”There’s only so much somebody can take.” The “Woman” hitmaker also couldn’t believe the outpouring of support she received from fans and fellow musicians like Taylor Swift and Adele after a judge denied to release her from her contract in 2016. “Like Adele, I never knew in a million years she knew who I was. It just felt like that at least people understood that I was, like, stuck,” she explained. “I appreciate it. I do… But I’d prefer people use my art than myself, because I’m so imperfect and flawed. So, that just makes me nervous.”

Her litigation is still ongoing, but the two-time Grammy nominee is onto a new chapter in her life, largely due to the Aug. 2017 release of her first album in five years, Rainbow, and her upcoming tour. “I feel like I took my life back,” Kesha explained. As for the future, she wants “to be happy” because “I feel like that’s winning. That’s winning everything.” It sure is!

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Kesha

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